Tiny Today Show Genius Has To Poop, NOW

Good morning, parents and Today Show host Natalie Moralez. I’m so pleased to be featured in a segment this morning discussing how I — a three-year-old with an IQ of 135 — am currently the youngest member of the high IQ society, Mensa. To have achieved such an outstanding feat at such a young age — well, it’s nothing I thought I’d ever experience, I’ll tell you that much. I hardly know I’m experiencing it now! With that said, though, and I really mean no disrespect to the Today Show, nor do I mean any disrespect toward Mensa or my parents, but, you see, at the moment I really have to poop. I know that sounds crude, but you have to understand that although I did rack up a pretty high score on the IQ test I was given, I am still a child and unable to wait on certain, well, let’s just say “life activities.” Like pooping. Like, I really cannot handle how much I have to poop right now. I am a three-year-old. So can you please take me off of TV and let me poop? I really have to poop! Why is everyone ignoring me? Doesn’t anyone love me and understand my needs? Natalie Moralez, you’re in charge here and certainly you understand that I am a child — Can I please poop? Natalie? Hello? Et tu, Natalie Moralez? WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE LET ME POOP?

I’m so sorry, baby genius, but you’re a member of Mensa now and your parents are participating in a VERY important interview about how you like bugs. NO POOPING ALLOWED. (Via Jezebel.)