Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Cinco de Mayooooooooooo! Right? I mean technically, in terms of HOLIDAYS, today is “May the fourth be with you.” But, how lucky we are, we have another holiday right after the holiday of “May the fourth be with you”! CINCO DE MAYO! Do you guys have any fun Cinco de Mayo plans for tomorrow? Are you going to drink a margarita? Wear a sombrero? Only have a vague idea of what you’re celebrating? Make some guacamole? (MAKE some, and definitely not buy it, because any guacamole you can buy pre-made is 100% definitely for sure going to be terrible?) Great. Sounds good. I am not going to be celebrating Cinco de Mayo because it is a friend’s birthday. How dare they, right? How dare they. Also I guess it is Kentucky Derby Day? LOTS of holidays to celebrate this weekend. I’m glad you could hear about them here, before you went off into your weekend having no idea of any of it. Have fun! Be safe! See you back here next week!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Real Kardashians And Fake Kardashians TOGETHER! Caption Contest, and the Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 truckasaurus | May 2nd Score:43

Could I BE carrying anymore luggage?

Posted in: An Oral History Of Friends
#4 rejectedjeffdunhampuppet | Apr 30th Score:44

Don’t bring infinity knives to a snot fight.

Posted in: Summer Jam 2012: “The Baddest” – Krispy Kreme
#3 R2D2, Esq. | Apr 30th Score:45

You guys, I feel like Ser Davos could have worked just a little bit harder when he was trying to warn Stannis about Melisandre. How did he not just scream “I saw a shadow monster come out of her pussy and I’m pretty sure it murdered your brother!”

Posted in: Game Of Thrones Open Thread
#2 werttrew | Apr 30th Score:47

Please have the decency to WEAR PANTS when you are talking to Sally on the phone, Creepy Glen.

Posted in: Mad Men: Joan Isn’t Just Like Everybody Else
#1 concert_addict | Apr 27th Score:61

Also, Champion had a cameo on The Office last night!

Posted in: Thursday Night TV Open Thread

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Good catch, concert_addict! You’re right about that being creepy, werttrew! Good job everyone else! As an aside from the congratulations that you all deserve, I want to say that I’ve been noticing a good amount of new commenters commenting recently, and that is very nice to see. If you’re reading this now and you’re a new commenter, HELLO! YOU ARE NICE TO SEE! STAY A WHILE!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 facetaco | Apr 27th Score:-9
Technically, yes, but headlines frequently use commas incorrectly for the sake of brevity, which can lead to confusion when they are used correctly.

[Assoc. Ed. Note: (In response to this.) C’mon, Facetaco. This — if the headline had said “A Picture Of Zooey Deschanel Without Makeup On, Asshole” — definitely would NOT have been one of those cases you’re talking about. That would be as if a headline said “A Picture Of Zooey Deschanel Without Makeup On, Face.” Even if a headline DID say that, I’d be as BOLD as to say that the conclusion based on its phrasing would be that she didn’t have either makeup on OR a face. Not that she didn’t have makeup on her face. Please feel free to never discuss anything else but this particular grammatical issue in the comments ever again. Very exciting. So sad I missed it when it happened last Friday.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

Slick shoes! | May 1st Score:30

I’ll let you in on a secret: They’re all fake.

Posted in: Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Real Kardashians And Fake Kardashians TOGETHER!

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, Slick shoes! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

  gopher trace | May 2nd Score:0

To be fair, if the porn can be described as something both living and dead, I’d be a little worried too.

Posted in: A Blair Witch Style Christian Horror Movie About Porn, Duh

[Assoc. Ed. Note: A very important part in the Christian horror movie about porn that none of the rest of us pointed out.]