Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Star Wars Nose Picking Caption Contest, and the Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5  explainer guy tries again | Apr 26th Score:56

9. pretend to have someone with you. table for 2. ask for 2 ice waters, 2 menus. talk to the empty seat across from you. When the waiter takes your order, pause, and say, “mmmm. That does sound good. I’ll have what she’s having.”

Posted in: Tips For Solo Dining
#4  Bubbles | Apr 26th Score:64

5. Keep looking at your watch and saying “I don’t know where they could be! They were supposed to meet me here an hour ago!”

Posted in: Tips For Solo Dining
#3  facetaco | Apr 26th Score:75

Eating alone IS the worst. Due to irresistible happy hour pricing and a gap in my schedule between work and school, I go to the same restaurant every week and eat a pizza alone. And it’s the worst. I am able to make it slightly better by making it as uncomfortable for the people working there as I can, without ever explaining WHY I am there at the same time every week, eating alone. Last time I went there, the hostess started to grab two menus, and when I reminded her that I was alone, she put one back and said “Oh, sorry, that’s just a habit, most people come in pairs.” I responded “That’s because only sociopaths eat alone.” She hates me so much now.

Posted in: Tips For Solo Dining
#2  lawblog | Apr 25th Score:75

You guys. I found the perfect candidate for Gabe.

Posted in: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Presidential Candidates And Late Night Comedy TV Shows
#1  huckabeast | Apr 23rd Score:90

Stray observations on some little clues I caught.

- Lots of orange in this episode! Orange, as we all know, doesn’t rhyme with anything. But “rhyme” does almost rhyme with “die” which is what Pete is going to do this season, don’t you doubt it, mark my words.

-I’m on the fence about the Tarantino-time-jump thing, but I like that it hinted at jumping time which is what Pete’s time is going to do. Jump out a window, along with his body.

-The movie that Peggy handjobbed at was called “Born Free” and it’s about a lion. Lions, as we know, kill people. Pete is going to die this season.

-When Peggy got taken off the job, Pete told her that she was taken off the job. Pete is going to get taken off of his life.

-Don was worried that Megan was dead. He should be more worried about Pete. Not that it matters, because worrying can’t save Pete now.

-No Joan in this episode. No Pete next season.

-If you look carefully at the beginning of this episode, you’ll see a man falling out of a skyscraper. He’s at the beginning of every episode actually. He’s Pete. Falling to his death.

Posted in: Mad Men: Orange Sherbet You Glad I Didn’t Say LSD?

[Ed. note: You guys OK? You seemed kind of quiet this week. Is it me? Am I being overly sensitive and/or is it my fault? OUR faults? Guys! Hello? Would anyone care to COMMENT on what I just said? Get it? You get it. Seriously, though, I hope everyone is OK. Great. Glad to hear it.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

godsdog | Apr 24th Score:-22

Thumbs down if you want to see the opposite of “well loved”

Posted in: Facebook Masturbation Song, OR: “What We Always Talk About When We Are Talking About The Internet”

[Ed. note: Yes, yes yes. We made some changes to our commenting system and software and other gobbledygook I don’t really understand and oh hey, here’s a question, is “gobbledygook” racist? It probably is, right? In any case, the system is mostly back to normal so everyone relax. It’s not like you were commenting that much anyways. See: above. XOXOXOX.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. note: Congratulations, topknot. You earned it!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  bisquetaker | Apr 26th Score:2

I don’t think it’s very sanitary to prepare food in a kitchen with grass and dirt all over the place.

Posted in: The Scary Girl From The Ring Throwing Out The First Pitch At A Japanese Baseball Game, OBVIOUSLY

[Ed. note: Just to reiterate what is going on here, this was a comment left in the thread about the girl from The Ring throwing out the first pitch at a Japanese baseball game. Huh? It is a very confusing comment and I definitely don’t get it, but that’s fun! I think that’s fun. It made me laugh for some reason. WHO DOESN’T LUV 3 LAFF?! Comments.]