January Jones Doth Protest Too Much About BEING A WITCH!

Hey, I wasn’t here yesterday and didn’t watch Mad Men until last night so it’s kind of like today is Monday for me and, well — MAD MEN? You guys definitely watched it, I can see. Did you all bring up how there was no Betty Draper at all, other than when the kid asked Don if he wanted to go inside and see her, something he probably ALWAYS does normally, and he said no? Well, did anyone bring up how maybe January Jones was unable to be in the episode not because she was pregnant but because she was BUSY PRACTICING WITCHCRAFT? From People:

Jones’s secret to staying high energy through the grueling shooting schedule? “I have a great doula who makes sure I’m eating well, with vitamins and teas, and with placenta capsulation.”

You read right: Jones is eating her own placenta. “Your placenta gets dehydrated and made into vitamins,” she explains. “It’s something I was very hesitant about, but we’re the only mammals who don’t ingest our own placentas.”

Jones has taken the capsules every day since right after she had her son, and also anytime she feels tired or down. Jones insists, “It’s not witch-crafty or anything! I suggest it to all moms!”

Uhhh, NO ONE brought up anything about placenta capsulation (certainly something that people probably have lots of opinions about, most of those probably being the opinion of yuck, but) being witch-crafty, JANUARY JONES! “I don’t know, I also have a smoothie every morning, it’s not part of a very elaborate witch-crafty routine my witch-craft advisors have set up for me or anything like that, haha, it’s just a smoothie, definitely nothing witchy or anything about it, I don’t even put on my witch had to drink it I mean I DON’T EVEN HAVE A WITCH HAT.” And speaking of that pregnancy, is there still no father? Could that be not because it’s your private life and/or the reveal of the father would be scandalous, but because the father is some kind of witch devil demon like if Rosemary’s Baby had been consensual? TELL THE TRUTH, JANUARY JONES! IT IS OUT THERE! AND IF YOU CAN, PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO MAKE MY HAIR TURN DIFFERENT COLORS LIKE THEY DO IN THE CRAFT!