That’s Your Boyfriend: Geraldo Rivera

It’s crazy how long you and Geraldo have been together. We’ve all had our share of serious relationships and long-term commitment, but for those of us without a decades long relationship under our belts, the time you two have put in together is a straight up INSPIRATION. How do you make it work?! My guess is that you are just constantly surprising each other, and renewing your vows of awfulness. Like this morning when your boyfriend went on Fox and Friends and said that Trayvon Martin was killed because he was wearing a hoodie. Eek! Aww! From TPM:

Rivera told his colleagues at Fox and Friends that he thought Zimmerman “should be investigated to the fullest extent of the law and if he is criminally liable, he should be prosecuted.” But he also said there was another culprit in the 17-year-old’s death: his choice of clothing.

“I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin’s death as George Zimmerman was,” Rivera explained.

“That’s my man!” – You

Good grief. Geraldo is a grown man, a news professional, and it is the year 2012. So it shows a particularly powerful strain of confidence and assholeishness that he feels completely comfortable going on national television and pulling out some archaic, blame-the-victim bigoted bullshit like this. Trayvon Martin was ASKING FOR IT with his SLUTTY OUTFIT. No. And in case you were worried that Geraldo Rivera, your lover and your best friend would simply detonate a nightmare bomb like “Trayvon Martin got killed for wearing a hoodie” and then drop the lavalier mic and walk off the soundstage, DON’T FRET! He gets way worse when he starts explaining his position in detail:

“What’s the instant association? It’s crime scene surveillance tapes. Every time you see someone stick up a 7-11, the kid is wearing a hoodie. Every time you see a mugging on a surveillance camera or get the old lady in the alcove, it’s kid with a hoodie,” Rivera continued.

“Remember Juan Williams, our colleague? He got in trouble with NPR because he said Muslim formal garb at the airport conjured a certain response in him? That’s an automatic reflex. He wasn’t defending it. He was explaining that’s what happened when he sees these particular people in that particular place,” Rivera opined.

“When you see a Black or Latino youngster, particularly on the street, you walk to the other side of the street. You try to avoid that confrontation,” he said. “Trayvon Martin, god bless him, an innocent kid, a wonderful kid, a box of Skittles in his hands. He didn’t deserve to die. But I bet you money, if he didn’t have that hoodie on that, nutty neighborhood watch guy wouldn’t have responded in that violent and aggressive way.”

GUHHHHHHHH. YOU LURHV HIM SO MURCH! What a piece of shit. Yeah, DO YOU remember when Juan Williams got in trouble? You could argue that the punishment was overly severe, but the punishment was in response to some racist nonsense. He didn’t just say that Muslim garb at the airport elicited a specific response in him, Geraldo, you lying, obfuscating, racist dick. He said that he gets SCARED EVERY TIME he sees a Muslim on his airplane. That is called racism. The end. When are you guys going to make it official and get married? You and Geraldo and Juan Williams? TRIPLE WEDDING!