Videogum

A New Take For Shepard Fairey’s 1984 Movie Adaptation

Shepard Fairey, the street artist who allows you to make the joke “oh check it out, is that a new Shepard Fairey?” whenever you see anything graffitied on a wall, along with Brian Grazer and Ron Howard’s production house Imagine Entertainment, are going to be teaming up to do a new film adaptation of 1984. Which is fiiiiiine, I guess. Whatever. We’re all exhausted, let’s not pretend like a new film adaptation of 1984 is the worst idea we’ve ever heard. We’ve heard so many worse. It is what it is. Hollywood be remaking and adapting. “So it goes.” – George Orwell, 1984. (Correct.) But there is ONE THING. From The Hollywood Reporter:

Imagine and Fairey were pursuing Orwell’s estate for the rights to 1984 and discovered that Yorn was simultaneously seeking the rights. The companies then decided to pair up.

The producers are out to writers to find a take on the material before setting it up at a studio.

THE PRODUCERS ARE OUT TO WRITERS TO FIND A TAKE ON THE MATERIAL?!? Well why didn’t they say so!

The Ministry of Tooth

Kristen Stewart lives in a society called Wolfiana and works at the Ministry of Tooth, where she spends her days covering up the fact that vampires exist and simultaneously spreading lots of mean rumors about vampires that aren’t even true at ALL. She is ok with it though because ever since she was little she was told that vampires murdered her family. Werewolves are in charge of everything, basically, and they hate the vampires because the vampires are better looking and smart. But even the werewolves are under the control of Big Brother, played by Ryan Gosling, (who is secretly a vampire?). Anyway so Kristen Stewart realizes she’s in love with a vampire, Robert Pattinson, and she’s like, “What do I do? This is against the rules in literally a billion ways, and what about my dead family?” But she realizes that vampires didn’t kill her family, WEREWOLVES DID, and that makes her into a strong woman and she runs away with Robert Pattinson by the end of it & they get married and never even talk about Wolfiana anymore.

The End

I will take my billion dollars in $10s.