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Could Someone Please Check On Hugh Grant’s Child?

Hugh Grant had a child, Tabitha, which is fine. He’s allowed. I’ve gone through all of the law books and apparently there isn’t a single statute barring Hugh Grant from having children. But maybe someone could go check on this one? I’m a little worried about her. Hey! Maybe she’s fine. But you know, let’s just be safe and check on her because some of the things Hugh Grant is saying about his child make me think can someone please just go check on this child? From ONTD:

“I like my daughter very much,” he continued. “Has she changed my life? I’m not sure. Not yet. Not massively, no. But I’m absolutely thrilled to have had her, I really am. And I feel a better person.”

Uhhhh, Hugh? Even if everything you are saying is true, which I bet it is, come on, man. You’re an international movie star and you’re giving a public interview. How about just saying you love your child. You know, window-dressing. It’s hard, I know. Also, if having a child hasn’t changed your life then either you were already getting up at 3:30 every morning to change someone else’s diaper or WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I’m serious, guys, someone just check on this kid. I’m sure the kid is doing great and mostly just spends all its time in its crib thinking about how wonderful its future is going to be and how it’s definitely going to be well-adjusted and a good human being but, you know, let’s just check on it. Hold a mirror under its nose and make sure there aren’t any razor blades in its diaper and pat it on the head and then go eat some bangers and chips, but please, JUST LET’S JUST CHECK ON IT, HUH?!