Oh, girls. It’s been so long since you’ve just been taken on a date. Sure, you’ve dated guys recently — some relationships more serious than others — but, I don’t know, those nights never really felt like date-dates. They really always just felt more like “hanging out.” And right now you’re at a point in your life when you just want to DATE. Right? You want to get out there! Meet some people! And girl, we have the perfect guy for you. So GET READY. Buy a new dress. Get a haircut and have something done with those eyebrows, for goodness sakes. Put on a shit ton of makeup in the mirror so when your roommate comes in and tells you you look nice you don’t have to secretly think she’s insulting you somehow. Think of this as opening a brand new chapter in your life — one of endless possibilities, and, if nothing else, a few nice meals and some conversation. You’re worth it! So, c’mon. Get your pretty self together, He’s waiting for you.
HAHAHA, GOTCHA! YOU’RE JUST GOING TO DUMB OLD BORING CHURCH! YOUR DATE IS WITH PRAYING, AND PRAYING IS DEF NOT GONNA PICK YOU UP IN HIS CAR! Also here’s this joke: Oops, guess you accidentally signed up for OkHolySpirit.com instead! Hahahahahahahhahaha! #GODPRANKS (Thanks for the tip, Ben!)