Ashley Olsen Will NEVER. ACT. AGAIN! STILL!

Back in 2009, Ashley Olsen announced that she would be retiring from acting. No one accepted it. Offers for Oscar-worthy movies flooded her Hollywood inbox, cries from fans outside of her window kept her awake throughout all hours of the night. And today, in 2012, just as our pus-filled Ashley Olsen shaped open wounds were starting to heal due to a resurgence in our blind faith that perhaps she would return to our lives once again in a poorly received movie or perhaps a poorly received TV show, she has appeared in an interview with Elle U.K. to let us know that she is out of the acting biz…FOREVER! STILL!!!!!!:

We worked non-stop until we were 18. Then we decided to take a break and go to school — and that was when we decided to question whether we would carry on in entertainment.

It was time to step behind the process. I wanted to work on other things. It doesn’t mean I’m not interested in Hollywood, I like the way it operates and the people who are involved and the sense of possibility. But if I ever do get back in, it’s not going to be as an actress.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! WE DO NOT ACCEPT IT! WE DO NOT ACCEPT IT! “GET. IN. MY. MOVIES!” – AUSTIN POWERS! This is a tough time for all of us, I’m sure, and this is the only way I know how to respond: