Kirk Cameron Finally Breaks His LEGENDARY Silence About Gay Marriage

Piers Morgan recently interviewed Kirk Cameron for some reason. I honestly have no idea. Like, we talk about Kirk Cameron on the Internet sometimes because he’ll be in a movie about how God Loves Christian Married Firefighters, or we will join him in the celebration of his birthday, but I’m not entirely clear how either of those things rate an actual interview on CNN about the issues of the day. Despite how he might like to think he comes off in a self-financed documentary about his vacation to England, Kirk Cameron is not a meaningful political figure. (I’m not actually sure whether or not his documentary is self-financed but it sure LOOKS self-financed.) He’s not quite as ridiculous and incendiary as Victoria Jackson, but he certainly uses his diminishing fame to push a political agenda that he’s incapable of defending. (It’s important to point out that lots of people are conservative and Christian and hold very strong beliefs about the way the world should work, and those people are entitled to their opinion because this is AMERICA, but if one of you is going to go on television and explain these feelings to the rest of us, you might not want it to be Kirk Cameron anymore because he’s doing a RILL bad job of it.) In any case, the subject of gay marriage came up, naturally, and that is when Kirk Cameron stared at his hands and spouted off a bunch of simple-minded garbage:

Yoops! We have obviously already covered at great length the disingenuousness of defending straight marriage as “sacred” in an age of exploding divorce rates where marriage is the basis for reality television shows. But it’s also funny (good use of the word “funny,” I’m sure) how his main reason for why two people who love each other shouldn’t be allowed to share the same basic legal rights as the rest of us is that marriage is “as old as dirt.” This is a particular Christian chestnut that is always surprising because it wouldn’t stand the test of a Junior High Debate Team. Something isn’t “good” or “right” just because it is old. We have made a lot of positive advances since the Garden of Eden, which itself had a pretty steep learning curve, I’ve heard. For example, very few of these same philosophers, Jehovah’s Witnesses aside, would refuse modern medical treatment because it’s not old as dirt enough. I’m sure most of them have refrigerators. I’m making a stupid point (as an homage to all of Kirk Cameron’s points) but I’m just saying that it’s not a compelling argument to say that people should be ostracized and hated and told that they are “unnatural” simply because we’ve been doing it for a long time.

And now there is this, from the Hollywood Reporter:

Amid backlash against Cameron, Piers Morgan defended his right to speak out, however “antiquated” his beliefs. In an interview with TMZ, Morgan called Cameron “pretty brave” for voicing his opinion. “I felt that he was honest to what he believed, and I don’t think he was expecting the furor that it created,” Morgan said.

Well, no, Piers Morgan. It’s not brave simply to be unembarrassed about your public hate speech. I doubt that Piers Morgan would make a comment like that if someone came onto his show and just started going off with some neo-Nazi race shit. Just because everyone is entitled to their beliefs doesn’t mean everyone needs to say them out loud. ON TELEVISION. And if he didn’t expect the furor that his comments created (oh, apparently his comments created a furor, btw) then that simply goes to show how overly confident he is in his ignorance. What kind of insulated bubble does this monster live in?! It’s one thing to be bold and hateful and think you’re right, it’s another thing entirely to be bold and hateful and think you’re right without the expectation that some of us might disagree with you.

And yet, once again, after all of this the main thing I am shocked and confused by is that Kirk Cameron was being interviewed on a serious news channel in the first place. (Video via Gothamist.)