Chris Tucker Owes An Impossible Amount Of Taxes

There’s a pretty powerful moment in Roman Polanski’s Chinatown that summarizes not only the movie, but also the dark, complicated, and unknowable existence of the monied class. It happens right before the credits roll, when the police chief turns to detective J.J. Gittes and says, “Fuhgettabout it J.J. Gittes, this Chinatown place is crazy and makes no sense!” Powerful, powerful stuff. This story about Chris Tucker owing 12 MILLION DOLLARS IN BACK TAXES kind of reminds me of that incredible scene. From TMZ:

Just when it seemed like Chris Tucker’s tax debt couldn’t get any bigger … the government has tacked on another half a million dollars to his already outrageous bill … meaning he’s broken the $12 million tax lien barrier. Congrats?

As TMZ first reported, Tucker is in the hole to Uncle Sam for a whopping $11,571,909.26 for federal taxes from 2001, 2002 and 2004 through 2006. Now it seems the state of Georgia is getting in on the act … recently filing a tax lien of their own against Tucker for $592,594.82 for the year 2007. We’ll save you the time … it comes out to a total of $12,164,504.08.

No way. This is not possible. I call Shaneanigans, TMZ. First of all, no one has ever owed more than 300 dollars in taxes. You can’t owe more than that, because that’s all the money you make in a year. But let’s pretend for a second that you could owe more than 300 dollars: at a certain point, when the amount of taxes you owe is more than, oh, I don’t know, let’s say FIVE MILLION DOLLARS, at that point the IRS should just let you have it because that’s RIDICULOUS. “Good one, dude. You got us!” 12 million dollars in taxes. Incredible. I imagine the IRS dressed in a pair of wrinkled dockers with its hands splayed out on its hips just shaking it’s head in disappointment at Chris Tucker while muttering “come on, man,” softly. Mostly to itself. And then I imagine Chris Tucker on the phone to his agent making a real strong case for why there should finally be a Shanghai Knights 2. His agent is like, “Chris, you weren’t even in the original Shanghai Knights,” and Chris Tucker is like “I owe 12 million dollars in taxes.” Fuhgettaboutit, Chris, it’s Tax Town.