Checking In With Dance Moms

Not too long ago, we all had a good time checking in with Toddlers & Tiaras. We were introduced to a terrible mother and saw the delightfully terrible little girl say “a dollar makes me hollar honey boo boo child,” and she has since become a superstar. It’s funny to think of how naive we were at that point, thinking that the mothers of THOSE children were monsters. “How could the fill their children up with Mountain Dew and pixie sticks, paint their tiny faces with makeup, and force them to trapse around on stage in a beauty pageant?” we thought. “These are certainly the most terrible entertainment-focused moms on television, and certainly those children will grow up to be the most damaged children who were made to take place in a reality TV show about the already terrible thing they were doing outside of that reality TV show. There definitely aren’t any worse ones. At least we know that this has gotta be the bottom.” It’s super cute and stupid how we all thought that when we hadn’t even seen any clips from DANCE MOMS yet!

Ooooooooooh my goodness. At least Toddlers & Tiaras is cloaked in a veil of whimsey. At least they add silly noises into the soundtrack sometimes. This show is just straight up terrible moms being terrible to each other, which I thought was bad enough, and then a monster woman SCREAMING at children until they cry? Great job, Lifetime! You really did it! You really made a terrible, sad show that I can’t believe you make why do you make this show! I feel terrible now! Have a good day! (Via BuzzFeed.)