Who Is Your Videogum Valentine?

They say that everyone dies alone, so I don’t understand what all the fuss is about not having a date at Valentine’s Day. APPARENTLY YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HAVE A DATE TO HEAVEN, EITHER! But whether you have someone or not this year, we can all agree that this is the Most Wonderful Day. (I’m kidding, but I am also strongly against people who complain about Valentine’s Day. Who cares? It’s a perfectly decent day! Complain about something more interesting. Valentine’s Day is fine. Eat a sandwich and go to bed you old crab!) But just as every couple has a secret list of people they would be allowed to cheat with if they ever met Eva Longoria or whatever (right? I know how love works), everyone also has a secret Videogum Valentine, which may or may not be true and may or may not be something I just made up, we’ll never know, but let’s talk about these special guys and girls! Whether you are single this holiday season (right? I know how holiday seasons work) or with someone you love, your heart is obviously burning with a hidden desire for this very special someone. Is it Ryan Gosling? Is it Rick Grimes? Is it Mark Wahlberg’s quote about 9/11? Is it one of your fellow commenters? AHHHHHHHH YOU ARE IN LOVE WHO ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH?! As the saying goes, “If you love someone, set their name in a blog comment.”