In Michigan last night, during the Super Bowl, Republican candidate Pete Hoekstra ran an ad attacking the incumbent senator, Debbie Stabenow, that is just crazy racist. Like, oh man. Like, whoa. The ad features a “Chinese” woman riding a bicycle through a rice paddy who explains in broken English how China is going to take over the United States thanks to people like Debbie Stabinow and how that makes her so happy. Did I mention that the music playing in the background is only half a degree away from just straight up being a racist Ching Chong jingle? No? Well the music playing in the background is only half a degree away from just straight up being a racist Ching Chong jingle. The point is, you should definitely vote for Pete Hoekstra if you are a terrified white person filled with confusion and hatred, and here is just one of the reasons why:
“Debbie Spenditnow.” Good one, Pete Don’tspenditnow. (What’s going on there? They have the same name basically? Good job. Good stuff. Vote twice.) My favorite part of the ad is probably the Hoekstra campaign’s explanation of the ad:
The Hoekstra campaign called the advertisement “satirical” and explained the broken English in the video as a reflection of China’s increasingly competitive education system.
“You have a Chinese girl speaking English – I want to hit on the education system, essentially. The fact that a Chinese girl is speaking English is a testament to how they can compete with us, when an American boy of the same age speaking Mandarin is absolutely insane, or unthinkable right now,” Hoekstra spokesperson Paul Ciaramitaro told POLITICO. “It exhibits another way in which China is competing with us globally.”
AHHHHHHHH. HAHAHAHAHA. AHHHHHHHH. Yeah, no, totally. VERY satirical. VERY good exploration of the issue of EDUCATION. Everyone’s first reaction is going to be how smart this young woman is, and what a potential leader for China’s bright and competitive future. (And don’t even get me started on how ABSOLUTELY INSANE the idea of an American *cough*WHITE*cough* boy speaking Mandarin is. No, this ad is perfect.) The Hoekstra campaign doesn’t even need to rest its case because everyone is just like SUSTAINED. WE CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH. (Thanks for the tip, @malgs.)