Blake Lively Has NEVER Been On A Date

You know how sometimes you read something about someone and it affects you in such a way that makes you to see everyone and everything in your life a little differently? Like, it may not be something that itself has any real impact on anything, but once you realize the way something is REALLY, it just changes your whole worldview? You know what I mean? One moment you see everything one way, and then the next it all suddenly shifts. Well, that is how I felt when I read this excerpt from Blake Lively’s feature in Elle:

“I’ve never gone on a date… If I’ve ever had a man in my life, it’s because I know him well, and he really means something to me. I don’t take that stuff lightly. I’d rather be by myself than be spending any time or energy on somebody that I didn’t feel sure about.”

NEVER GONE ON A DATE?! But she’s so beautiful! Surely I would think she has at least been taken out to dinner by SOME man she isn’t in a committed relationship wi–No? SHE HASN’T?! Just the major boyfriends and no one el–WHAT? It’s clear?! And I don’t need to keep asking questions about it?! Well, fine. But one thing I will NOT be stopped from doing is imagining my own first date with Blake Lively, because I can no longer live in this new reality.

Kelly drives to Blake Lively’s house to pick her up for their date. They have never met before but their friends set them up together with disregard for either’s sexual preference. “Hello, Blake!” says Kelly, when she gets to Blake’s door. “Hello, Kelly, it’s nice to meet you,” says Blake. “I’ve heard a lot about you and I googled you and I’ve read a bunch of stuff you’ve written. I like how on Videogum it’s always clear when it’s you and not Gabe and how no one ever mixes that up. Also I’ve looked at pictures of you and you are very pretty. Do you think you’d ever want to be on Gossip Girl?” “Haha, WHOA!” says Kelly. “That’s a lot to process! But thank you, Blake. I googled you before our date as well and saw that you were on a show called Gossip Girl. Although I’ve never seen it, I’d love to be on that show sometime.” “Oh, perfect,” says Blake. “My first date is off to a GREAT start!”

Kelly and Blake go to a very fancy restaurant and they’re both in very fancy dresses. “Pardon me for saying this, but you guys make such a cute couple,” says their waiter. “Oh — this is just our first date,” says Blake. “Huh,” says the waiter, “Looks like you two have been dating for a while!” Both Blake and Kelly smile at the waiter’s candor.

Blake and Kelly asked each other questions all evening, without ever spending too much time talking about themselves out of turn. It was a wonderful first date, but ultimately they decided to not go on another date. They remain best friends, and Kelly is going to be on Gossip Girl soon as a recurring character.

That sounded like such a good date! You’re welcome, Blake Lively! My worldview is restored! (Elle article via Celebuzz.)