IMPORTANT LIFE UPDATE: The Ryan Gosling On Demand Channel

Hey laaadddieeeeeeessss! Guess what? It turns out we have a reason to keep that dumb dusty TV we’ve had in our living rooms forever after all! STOP! DON’T THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW YET! And def don’t cancel your Time Warner Digital Cable subscription either because check this out, from Zap2it:

Starting Monday (Jan. 30), Time Warner Cable Digital TV customers can watch a ton of Ryan Gosling movies On Demand. “Drive” will be available the same day as the DVD release. You’ll also have access to “Crazy, Stupid Love,” “The Ides of March,” “Lars and the Real Girl,” “Fracture,” “The Notebook,” “Murder By Numbers” and “Remember the Titans.” Just head over to Movies on Demand, select “BY GENRE” and click “Ryan Gosling.”

WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA! Finally, a one-button solution for access to all of our favorite movies that we can pay to see over and over again for about $5 each. OUR DREAM COME TRUE! This more than makes up for how our Internet never goes a day without cutting out a few times! But I don’t think it’s the end to cashing in on the real sexiest man alive’s appeal, for instance what about:

  • Ryan Gosling’s Drive High Speed Internet & Phone & Cable “Package”
  • Ryan Gosling’s Fave Extra TV Channels “Package”
  • “Package” in quotations to make you think of HIS “package.”
  • Ryan Gosling button on the remote that takes you to the channel that is talking about him now or is going to be talking about him the soonest.
  • Ryan Gosling shaped remote.
  • Ryan Gosling themed cable box that costs A LOT extra.
  • Time Warner guy wears a Ryan Gosling mask when he shows up at your apartment.
  • Button that makes everyone on every channel sound like they have a Ryan Gosling voice.
  • All the Ryan Gosling parts of TV shows or movies are in 3D.

We’re definitely onto something, Time Warner. Don’t let this opportunity get away from you, but please, don’t change anything else about everything that you’re doing. It’s all perfect.