Renaming The Academy Awards Venue, Oh No!

As we all know by now because we think we saw someone Instagram about it, which is honestly the truth in my case because the world is a very funny vampire, the IRL film company Kodak is filing for bankruptcy. Very sad! I bet. I’m sure people are sad about it. I’m not sad about it because I have too many other things to be sad about, like how I need a new book of checks and I feel like that’s going to be kind of annoying to get, and TAXES?, and most importantly how NOW the Oscars venue isn’t going to be called the “Kodak Theatre” anymore. BUT MY CHILDHOOD! From Deadline:

Bankrupt Kodak said in court filing this week that it wants its name taken off the Kodak Theatre at Hollywood & Highland, the home of the Academy Awards since 2001. The company said the move to relinquish naming rights will save it serious cash as it begins bankruptcy proceedings after filing for Chapter 11 protection earlier this month.

“So it goes.” Yes? This is just like in that book when that guy says, “So it goes.” O, FORTUNA. Although this is a difficult time, as it’s always hard when something we thought would be one way forever suddenly changes, like when Videogum’s logo wasn’t this* anymore, we have to pick up our hearts and insides from the floor, stuff them back into our limp bodies, and carry on. Something that I think will help us move on is imagining the theatre with different, appropriate, and likely names. 

I will begin.

  • The Bing Theatre
  • The Videogum Theatre
  • Ford’s Theatre
  • #PlacesYouGoWhenYouWantToGoToATheatre
  • The Lindsay Lohan Theatre Experience
  • What’s Cooler Than A Million Dollars, A Theatre, Facebook Theatre
  • The Videogum & Stereogum Theatre Experience
  • XOXO Gossip Girl Theatre
  • Shit A Theatre’s Called Theatre
  • Burger King Theatre

PHEW! I feel better. Kind of. It’s going to take some time, I think. YOUR TURN NOW, IF YOU WANT!

*Thank you, FLW!