The ShamWow Guy Is The Schticky Guy Now

Yuck. Why is he talking like that? He sounds like he’s trying out for the role of “Precocious Baby” in Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2. And why is everyone SO dirty? It seems like we might need to address, through regression therapy and some kind of step-based recovery program, the underlying problems about these people’s cleanliness and hygiene before we even get to how to properly use a Schticky. Step 2: Make amends for the pile of hair and crumbs you always carry around on your shoulder. And who needs to clean up a pile of pennies? And why is it called the Schticky? Did they only rent the conference room for five minutes on Brand Name Brainstorming Day? So many questions! Although what’s not up for debate is how fun AND classy it is for Vince Offer to poke fun at the time he was arrested for PUNCHING A PROSTITUTE IN THE FACE. Very cool of him. Makes me want to buy a whole bunch of these pieces of shit. ORDER NOW! (Via ONTD.)