Jessica Shows You How To Deal With A Baby

Lately there have been a lot of videos going around that showcase animals calming babies down, and getting them to stop crying. They are fine and actually kind of great, except there is always the nagging voice in your head screaming, “GET THAT ANIMAL AWAY FROM THAT BABY!” There will never be a point in my life where I trust any animal enough to be alone around a baby — let alone MY OWN baby, while I VIDEOTAPED IT. Imagine if something went wrong! And the dog took a bite out of the baby! Then what you’d have is a video of a dog taking a bite out of your baby and that is — I’m sure we’d all agree — a horrifying video to have. So. Don’t do that! Stop making those videos! They are definitely cute but also very scary and you should probably just calm your own baby down and not leave it up to the animal you own. On the other hand, just kidding, a little bit of the same hand, here we have tiny Jessica meeting her baby sister for the first time and already knowing exactly how to calm her down. Good going, Jessica!

YOUOKYOUOKYOUOK, YOUFINEYOUFINEYOUFINE. I only wish that I were in a position to sample this, the perfect way to calm down any human, in a song somehow. Luckily we’re all in the position to save it and play it any time we might be having a lot of anxiety or feeling bad about ourselves. Why do therapists even exist when this video exists? That’s a very good question, I’m glad I asked it! I’M OK I’M OK I’M FINE I’M FINE! (Via TastefullyOffensive.)