Videogum

This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

This is now that time of year where we start to plan our holiday season viewing schedule, which is when we catch up on all the things we kind of wanted to see this year, but didn’t feel any pressing need to see, but we guess OK maybe we will watch it on the morning of December 27th because what else are we going to do. That holiday viewing schedule. And what’s exciting about this week’s batch of new movie trailers is that it gives us a glimpse of a lot of possible titles for next year’s holiday viewing schedule. Neat!

Expendables 2

Didn’t The Expendables 1 JUST come out? That is fast turn-around. Kind of suggests what you would think would be a logistical nightmare of star scheduling was not so bad because of how none of these people are in movies anymore. I do love when the credits say “Also Van Damme.” Also. Hahah. Whatever. This movie is the Ed Hardy vodka of movies.

Jack the Giant Killer

WHOA. UH. This looks like a joke, right? Like a hilariously well-done joke? Like someone taking a graphics class at film school decided to make an over-the-top trailer for a fake Jack and the Giant Beanstalk movie set to the MOST intense music? Also, I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve thought about the story, but what is the point of these beans? You can’t get them wet. If you do, bad stuff happens. Why would you even want these old beans? Trade them in! CASH 4 BEANS.

Good Deeds

Well, the 2013 Academy Awards are already boring and ruined because we know who wins all of them. TELL ME HOW MUCH A GALLON OF MILK COSTS!

Rock of Ages

This movie is not for me, but that’s OK, there are plenty of movies that are. But it does actually make me like Tom Cruise a little more? I mean, he didn’t HAVE TO make this movie, you know? It was a choice! A lifestyle choice, so to speak.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Garbage.

Men In Black 3

They’re back! All our old pals! Sort of! Did I ever tell you the story of how I saw them film a motorcycle chase for this movie? Pretty cool story. Listen for it on this week’s episode of The Moths.