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A Look At Tony Gilroy’s Draft Of The Bourne Ultimatum Screenplay

Matt Damon seems like a fine enough person that none of us will ever meet. Previously, he has not wanted to destroy Sarah Palin’s children, and remember when he said those nice things about teachers? Also: Good Will Hunting. Oh, also, I just remembered this one: Handsome. So it’s kind of odd that he was the BIGGEST JERK in his cover issue of GQ this month, when discussing Bourne Ultimatum screenwriter Tony Gilroy’s draft — the only one of which he was contractually obligated to produce — of the film’s screenplay. From GQ:

I don’t blame Tony for taking a boatload of money and handing in what he handed in. It’s just that it was unreadable. This is a career-ender. I mean, I could put this thing up on eBay and it would be game over for that dude. It’s terrible. It’s really embarrassing. He was having a go, basically, and he took his money and left.

Whooooooaa! More like Matt HEY-MAN, take it easy! He contacted GQ afterwards saying, “This is between me and him. So saying anything publicly is fucking stupid and unprofessional and just kind of douchey of me,” which is fair enough, but also what is said and written cannot be unsaid and unwritten so here we are. This all being said though — That screenplay must have been terrible!  Matt Damon doesn’t just go around trashing mediocre screenplays to GQ every day. I bet it was a nightmare. IF ONLY HE’D RELEASE IT TO EBAY! Hahaha. eBay. Oh, celebrities. Anyway, you can all relax and stop refreshing your eBays because it just so happens that we have a peek at Gilroy’s draft RIGHT HERE!

IEXT. FOREIGN PLACE – NIGHT

Jason Born is running from someone. He is in the CIA. He is runing v. fast and you can tell hes running for his life.

JASON
YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!

INT. INSIDE – DAY

A few peopel sit in an office. They all are people whoo were in the other movies to kill Jason Bourn.

PERSON 1
How can we kill him? You there — woman. You’ve tried before, how can you improve?

PERSON 2 (WOMAN)
Operation Blackbriar

ENXT. BULDING – NIGHT

At a building they meet. Who is on what side?

JASON
Who’s side are you on?

PERSON
I am on your ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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Holy shit! That is very bad! I’m sorry, Matt Damon, you should definitely not be getting any negative reactions to your GQ article because you are super correct. Please accept my apology and you can pick me up for dinner at 7:30.