The Austin Powers Musical Is Getting Real

We talked a tiny bit about the Austin Powers musical yesterday, and tossed around the idea of me and Gabe trying out for Mini Me and Dr. Evil, and we all decided that that was a great idea, and Gabe was like, “Count me in.” And I was like, “Already counted you in.” But yesterday it seemed like the Austin Powers musical was only a rumor that would eventually fade into the Hollywood rumor background noise because what? And also, nooooooo! But today is a brand new day. From The Hollywood Reporter:

Casey Nicholaw, who co-directed The Book of Mormon as well as the stage version of Elf, is in talks to direct the Austin Powers musical being developed by Mike Myers and Warner Bros. Theatre Ventures.

Colin Callender, the former HBO Films president whose run included the acclaimed Band of Brothers and Angels in America, and partner Sonia Friedman are producing the musical, which will be set to the music of Burt Bacharach and Elvis Costello.

Oh, goodness. Those all seem like real things! The story goes on to say that musical will be a prequel to the movies, will take place in the ’60s, and “detail how Powers first acquired his mighty mojo.” (Elvis Costello did not make music in the ’60s though?) (I refuse to deal with ANY anachronisms within the Austin Powers series.) It’s always unfortunate when something that at first seems so ridiculous turns into something that seems like a normal idea, and it looks like this is turning that corner VERY QUICKLY, so can we all just pause for a moment and reflect on the basic idea of an Austin Powers musical? Like, a person doing a Mike Myers impression on stage? In a Mike Myers costume? And then singing a song? And saying “shagadellic”? And people paying so much money to see it, as if it’s not a thrown-together idea meant to squeeze the last few drops of juice out of a decomposing Hollywood fruit? THAT IS CRAZY. I’ve gathered together some materials to aid in our reflection before it’s too late and we’re all in line at the Playbill Fandago.

Hahahahaha. Actually, yes, I want this. GOODNIGHT!