The Thing About Mitt Romney’s $10,000 Bet With Rick Perry

Over the weekend, the Republican candidates for President of the United States engaged in yet another televised debate, and apparently things are getting important now or something because I think stuff happens in January that will make some of them pack their knives and go because they will be the weakest links goodbye. In any case, one time front-runner MItt Romney (who is losing ground to Newt Gingrich, because apparently someone successfully time-jumped) really put his foot in it during a disagreement with Texas governor Rick Perry when, in the midst of a disagreement over health care reform, Mitt Romney claimed Rick Perry was misrepresenting his position on the matter and extended his hand to try and place a $10,000 bet to resolve the issue. LOL. The rest of the candidates made fun of this goof on the Sunday morning political talk shows, as the rest of the candidates are wont to do. They mostly point out that a $10,000 bet highlights Mitt Romney’s wealth, which as you know, is a big no-no if you want to be President. You’re supposed to suck on shoe leather and stick your hands in your overalls. LET’S RASSLE US A BEER, BOYS! (In the candidates’ defense(s), it is a tricky line they have to walk. It’s hard to become a successful politician these days without a lot of money, and people also like to bet on winners, but then you can’t be seen as out of touch with “the people,” and in general the whole thing is a big mess but you already knew that so I’m sorry I wasted your time pointing out the obvious.) This is not the first time that a candidate of either party has offered some kind of LIVE, front-and-center challenge to another candidate during a debate, and these moments always go badly so why don’t they cut it out? But a $10,000 bet really is a hilarious bet. I mean, $10,000? Like, a $100 bet seems like a bet between gentlemen. And a $1,000,000,000 bet seems like a sign of your conviction in your own position. But a $10,000 bet is not a thing, and therefore really does suggest that this is the amount of money that Mitt Romney thinks most things cost. It reminds me of a joke on the very short lived Will Arnett show Running Wilde in which he played a louche billionaire, when he handed his butler a $100 bill and asked him to go out and get a six-pack of Coke, and then asked if he’d given him enough money. Poor, Mitt Romney. Why can’t we just let him be great rich?! Watch the bet moment after the jump:

Of course, there is a whole other side to this story which NO ONE is covering, and that is the WHAT’S UP WITH THESE BOYS’ FACES angle. Boys! What’s up with your faces?!

Rick Perry is like, “am I right, LADIIIIIIIIIIES?!” And then he is all like:

“I have come to your planet and studied your robots. Now I am blend in you no know what it is.” Check Mitt Romney out:

“McDonalds has a saying: ‘I’m lovin’ it.’ And that’s how I feel about this debate.” Look at this piece of shit’s face!!!!

Guys! We know that you hate each other and are engaged in a long, grueling, and difficult political campaign. Why are you smiling like you just shit your pants and someone has asked you if you shit your pants and you are smiling like no way did I just shit my pants why would you even ask me that but somehow your smile makes it even more obvious what just happened?! Unless….Unless the answer is because you both just shit your pants! MYSTERY STATUS: Resolved.