Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

This afternoon, Kelly and I had lunch to discuss the website, and the future, and achievable goals and things of that nature. It was good. I mean, it is always good to take a moment and reflect and put into words the half-formed thoughts and feelings and hopes you have for projects and ambitions and stuff. But also I just mean lunch was good. I had an oyster po’ boy and a bowl of butternut squash soup with beignets! Kelly had some mini pulled pork sliders, which is kind of redundant because sliders are supposed to be small. As far as I am concerned, they were full-sized pulled pork sliders. The order came with three but Kelly only ate one and a half of them? What is THAT all about? I suppose how much Kelly eats is her business and she might not like me putting her business out there like this, but it’s like, full-sized pork sliders are delicious, how do you not eat 100 of them in a row? I’m confused is all. ANYWAY, this seems as good of a time as any to turn the floor over to YOU to join us in the conversation. We’re drawing to a close on 2011. Is there anything YOU would like to talk about in regards to the site and the site’s operation? Thoughts are welcomed and encouraged. Please be constructive, though. If there’s something you’d like to see more or less of, let us know, but don’t just talk about how much you hate the site or whatever, because that’s a perfectly reasonable and understandable position to take, but there’s not a lot for us to DO about it. Besides recommend some other sites you might like better. Have you heard of the HuffingtonPost? You’re going to love it. But, so, guys? How’s our driveblogging?

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Viggo Mortensen’s Ridiculous Teen Heartthrob NYT Magazine Cover Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5  topknot | Dec 5th Score:72

They got mail.

Posted in: Anybody Have Theater Class Notes For Chet Haze’s Final Paper?
#4  Son of Gabe | Dec 7th Score:74

When I was younger I was very very very religous. I became this way after I read a description of hell somewhere and to this day that description is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever read. Upon reading this I decided to become a christian not because I believe in God, but because Iwas afraid of going to hell. I read the bible and obeyed every commandment written in it. One commandment that I specifically paid attention to was Leviticus 18:22 which states “Man shall not lay with man, it is abomination” I began to be very homophobic, used the word ‘fag’ as often as I could and even blamed some of my problems on gays. A few years later after some thought and a confusing dream involving Paul Newman circa 1958 and a hotel room in Venice I realized that I am gay. A few months later, I came out and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. What I’m saying is, if you ever need to talk Rick, I’m here for you.

Posted in: It Is Almost Crazy How Much Rick Perry Knows What He’s Talking About
#3  Ginger Ball Z | Dec 7th Score:79

Excellent wardrobe choice, Mr. Perry. Totally no homo.

Posted in: It Is Almost Crazy How Much Rick Perry Knows What He’s Talking About
#1  R2D2, Esq. | Dec 7th Score:93

What the fuck is he on about? Who’s fighting a war on religion? When did Obama make any rules at all regarding school prayer? The Supreme Court banned school-led prayer about a million years ago! And for fuck’s sake, you ARE allowed to pray in school!

There are so many actual problems in the world, and these fuckwits are making up phony ones to rile up my least favorite cousins on Facebook. A pox on your house, dickweed.

Posted in: It Is Almost Crazy How Much Rick Perry Knows What He’s Talking About

[Ed. Note: Good work on that Rick Perry thread, everyone. I hope people in his campaign read it. And convince him to drop out. Of everything. Hang it up, Perry. You stink!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1  gatheraroundtheoakentable | Dec 7th Score:-11

You guys remember that fucking “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” video from that gay chick looking dude guy? I feel like yelling “LEAVE MICHAEL ALONE!” but I’m neither gay nor a chick looking dude. I AM MAN! (lol)

Posted in: Michael Moore Hems And Haws His Way Towards Something Resembling Honesty

[Ed. Note: Oh good grief. I mean, the suggestion that we can move on from the Michael Moore stuff is pretty legitimate, but to then make completely unnecessary homophobic comments about Chris Crocker for no reason in 2011 is just the worst. You’re the worst. What’s wrong with you? Something is clearly wrong with you!]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, fondue cheddar. You earned it!]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

  Jeb | 1:33pm Score:4

I would have gone, but the lines for the bathroom would have been the worst.

Posted in: The Starbucks Weddings Is Pretty Cute, To Be Honest

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahah, BOOOOOOOOOO! Terrible joke! That was a great terrible Starbucks joke, Jeb. Very good bad job. I dislike love it a lot. But you bring up an interesting point: They had to use the bathroom at Starbucks for their wedding bathroom. Do you think they hired people to come in and clean it or do you think the Starbucks employees cleaned it? Do you think they put anything extra in it, like candles? There’s a lot more to this story, that news report did a terrible job.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  R2D2, Esq. | Dec 6th Score:17

Never let it be said that a Detroit audience isn’t a polite audience.

Posted in: Man Whistling “Georgia On My Mind” On 1980s Detroit-Based Talk Show Completes Me/Us

[Ed. Note: Everything about the guy whistling “Georgia on my Mind” video is great and if you haven’t watched it yet, you should really go watch it. It’s also very true, and I am glad someone pointed it out, that the LIVE studio audience is almost impossibly polite. It was just a different time back then. It was certainly a more racist, sexist, and homophobic time, it always was when you’re talking about the past, but it was also a more polite time, at least studio audience-wise. Then 9/11 happened and CHANGED. EVERYTHING. Take notes, modern studio audiences. Shut your fucking faces. Something amazing is about to happen.]