This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

Let’s be honest, there is only one thing to talk about this week, and that is THE THREE STOOGES MOVIE. Oh, there are other trailers this week. You might even be interested in some of them. But they are not what we NEED to TALK ABOUT. So, let’s.

The Three Stooges

WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOW! Where to even begin. How about with the fact that I think I LOVE it? Admittedly, I think it’s probably just some weird form of horrible movie Stockholm syndrome, but it is so aggressively bad on so many levels that I find it endearing and kind of funny and cannot even tell anymore what is what. There’s obviously all the slapsticky madness that feels so outdated there might as well be someone in blackface turning the Stooges’ lives around with some old country magic. But also their fake borscht belt accents? And the fact that who on Earth wants a new version of the Three Stooges anyways and also if they did want one would it really be THIS one? And everything about this trailer? Incredible. TWO STARS WAY UP!

The Five-Year Engagement

Can we talk about The Three Stooges movie some more? Like, do you know how hard it is to get a movie made? It costs so much money, and requires so many people signing off on that money, and people dedicating years of their life to the project, combined with the logistical and egotistical nightmares of the stars. And yet, here we are. Even after the original cast all dropped out (who knows why they would ever do that?!) they were able to get a whole new cast and FULL SPEED AHEAD. I mean, when you consider the odds, The Three Stooges movie is a minor MIRACLE.

The Cabin in the Woods

And, like, what is that scene with the nun in the swimsuit? What is the joke? That a nun would never wear that? I don’t get it. That she actually DID get a haircut and that’s what’s different about her? How often do nuns go swimming, anyway? Complete nonsense, and yet it made it into the trailer. “There’s more stuff like this in the movie, so get excited.” Unbelievable. That scene makes my head spin around in circles.

Lucky One

Somehow this looks worse than the Three Stooges movie.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Oh, OK, so this is just New Year’s Eve but about babies? Got it. Meanwhile, THE THREE STOOGES HOLY COW! STILL! FOREVER AND EVER!