Anybody Have Theater Class Notes For Chet Haze’s Final Paper?

According to Gawker, this is an email that went out to [email protected] at 4AM this morning:

What Up Everybody,

My names Chester Hanks, I’m a junior theater major, but some of you may know me better as “Chet Haze.” Or maybe you dont, which would be embarrassing for me…..Anyway, if the sound of receiving this email on your phone woke you up at this hour, I sincerely apologize. Hopefully, there may be a few of you (like me) who for some reason just need to wait until literally the LAST MINUTE to get any work done—this final paper being no exception. I was wondering if anyone had notes from after November 1st to the end of the course on their computer that they would be willing to send my way. It would be much appreciated, and we could possibly work something out as a reward for the generosity. I’m really crossing my fingers on this one. Thanks! Happy studies.


Apparently the paper is due THIS AFTERNOON! Asking for an entire month’s worth of notes does sort of make one wonder where Chet Haze has been for the past month if not in class, but don’t hate the student, son, hate the school. One might also question the logic of his strategy in appealing to other procrastinators, since it is clearly the responsible, non-procrastinators whose help he actually needs, and they might not be sympathetic to his casual, almost boastful admission of laziness, unpreparedness, and overall irresponsibility. But if one did question the logic of his strategy, one would be such a nerd, and one would not be invited to pledge this year. Anyway, if you have ANY notes from November 1st onward, help a hazer out. You could possibly, no promises, get a reward for your generosity. #GETSMARTZED!