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The Petting Zoo: The Week’s Top 10 Animal Videos

The final animal video countdown of November on the final day of November. Ah, what does it mean! Nothing, I think! Absolutely nothing, it’s just how the calendar happened to work out. I don’t know why you’re always trying to place bogus meaning on insignificant things, especially when we have lots of very significant things to derive TRUE meaning from, like a duck stopping every time a human in front of it turns around, or dogs licking laughing babies. They’re both probably consciously doing it to entertain us! AND IT’S WORKING! The duck probably thinks that the human in front of it would get a real kick out of how it was stopping because it probably thinks that the human is thinking that the duck thinks its invisible when it stops moving. Right? CLASSIC, easy-to-understand fun duck logic. And the dog licking the baby is probably doing it because the baby lives in a home where the parents let it get licked in the face by dogs all the time using the logic that “a dog’s mouth is cleaner than human’s mouth,” but the dog thinks that that’s probably not exactly correct and anyway humans don’t go around licking babies all the time so what does it even matter. So it saw that the camera was out and this is basically a cry for help. RIGHT? Watch the videos and then see if you think those two interpretations are correct. SEE YOU IN DECEMBER, ANIMAL VIDEOS!

10. Stealth Duck

9. Kitten Mesmerized by Aquarium

8. Rat and Capybara Go Swimming

7. Puppy Sneezes On Command

6. Dog Licks Laughing Baby

5. Pianist Paul Barton Plays To Blind Elephants

4. Octopus Walking On Land

3. Girl Reunites With Her Dog After Being Apart for 6 Months

2. Porcupine Eating Corn

1. Dog Rides On A Bicycle

Hahah, YES! Dog riding on a bicycle, I wish I could give you BETTER than first place. It doesn’t matter how many heartwarming videos featuring real human emotion are in the countdown, you are number one forever and ever until we all die and the Internet is forgotten. Congratulations! Congratulations to you too, Porcupine. I had absolutely no idea that those were the kind of sounds you made. THAT IS FANTASTIC! It’s maybe surprising that you got placed above the little girl crying about getting her dog back, but this isn’t the top 10 tear-filled reunion videos of the week! IT’S THE TOP 10 ANIMAL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK! And we see your dog for about three seconds. That’s why you get number three. For the number of seconds there is an actual animal in your video. Great job. Octopus walking on land is the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen and even though it’s about 45 minutes long, I watched the whole thing and I don’t think I even blinked. Sooooooo. The rest of them you can figure out for yourselves, I think. The huge dog licking the baby is obviously really great, probably better than number six, but again we were faced with the problem of TOO MUCH of the cuteness coming from a non-animal. Oh well. Sorry, baby. Gotta be fair, this is an Interent institution KNOWN for its fairness that you’re dealing with. So. YAY CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE!!!!! Love you, dog on a bike!