Updating The Munsters For Its NBC Reboot!

The Munsters is getting rebooted on NBC by Bryan Fuller, creator of Pushing Daisies. DOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Sorry, do you also need someone to tell you to inhale and exhale, and blink, and beat your heart all day? It’s life. Get used to it. The very popular 1960s sitcom with so much story left to tell will most likely be returning to the air this coming summer. From Deadline:

Less than 2 weeks after receiving Bryan Fuller’s script for The Munsters, NBC has given a pilot order to the Pushing Daisies creator’s reboot of the 1960s comedy. Universal Television is producing the project, described as an imaginative reinvention of The Munsters as a visually spectacular one-hour drama.

I never watched Pushing Daisies, but I know there are a lot of people who enjoyed it, and that it was received very well critically and won a million awards. And there is something very sad about that show, an original idea (kind of, I guess it was kind of based on Dead Like Me, but it certainly wasn’t a reboot and what more can you ask for really) with “striking visuals,” etc., being cancelled, and then its creator going to NBC with a MUNSTERS REBOOT and getting it immediately green-lighted. Not that I don’t think Bryan Fuller is excited about the money idea and I’m sure he plans to make it just as “visually striking,” etc., (and of course it very well may be cancelled as well) but I can only imagine him waking up super hungover from a night of defeated drinking, crawling to his script-writing desk, and writing the Munsters reboot script in between barfing into a wastebasket next to him and also sometimes letting his barf just hit the floor. Right? That’s what we’re all imagining. And then probably it was very sunny on the day he had his first meeting about it, but only in stark contrast to what he was feeling. Or probably he’s excited because it’s a job and who cares? Whatever, anyway, let’s help him UPDATE ITTTTT!!!!!

Ok, so I’ve put together a portrait of how I imagine the updated cast:

Herman Munster = Ray Romano: I will seriously be surprised if the role of Herman Munster is NOT played by Ray Romano. Did he play the original Herman Munster? I’m not sure, I forget who did the original, but I’m about 64% sure that it WAS, in fact, Ray Romano. This would be the perfect opportunity to reprise his role. “Hey guys, I’m HEERRRMAN Munster!” – said with a Ray Romano voice.

Lily Munster = Mom From Weeds: Mom from Weeds has dark enough hair for it, I’m sure she’d be fine.

Grandpa = Regis Philbin: Like Ray Romano, I will be surprised if rebooted Grandpa is not Regis Philbin. Had we all had the information that The Munsters was going to be rebooted back in September when we discussed what Regis should be doing after he leaves Live!, there would have been no point in discussing it at all. Obviously he should be playing Grandpa in the Munsters reboot. NEXT.

Eddie Munster = Tony From Skins/Beast From X-Men: First Class, But When He Was In About A Boy: I like this actor in everything, ESPECIALLY all the things I just listed because those are the only things that I’ve seen him in. But the thing about Eddie Munster is that he is a child. So in order for this actor to take on the role of Eddie Munster, he must also be a child. Luckily, he was a child in About A Boy.

Marilyn Munster = January Jones As Betty Draper, In The Role Of Marilyn Munster: Definitely do NOT get January Jones as herself. But if Betty Draper can be signed on for the role, that would be a home run + a slam dunk. I forget if Marilyn Munster was supposed to be stone-y and cold in a way that moves beyond playing a character and into the realm of just being a bad person and not being able to pretend well enough that you’re not, but if so, this is going to work out perfectly.

Here is how I imagine the updated family dynamics:

In the original, Herman Munster was the breadwinner in the house. In the reboot, Herman Munster has recently lost his job and Lily Munster is forced to return to her roots as a model. But she’s too old to be a model now?! At first she is humiliated and upset about the jobs she is getting (“old lady jobs”) because she sees herself as a young woman still, and this causes a bit of comedic drama, but then she finally settles into the work she’s getting and is grateful that, in this economy, she’s able to get any old lady model work at all. At some point she has to show up to an audition with Marilyn and Marilyn, without even TRYING, gets the part instead.

The show now takes place in:

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

The theme song is now:

A loose cover of the original theme, done by Surfer Blood.

I consistently surprise myself with how well in-tune I am with “what works” in Hollywood. I’m sure this has helped Bryan Fuller a lot. YOU’RE WELCOME, BRYAN FULLER! But, WHAT ELSE? I can’t be the only one helping Bryan Fuller, guys. (Even though I am clearly the best at it.) Help him!!!