Of Course Armond White Gave Jack And Jill A Rave Review

We’re admittedly a few days behind on this one, but the World’s Most Important Film Critic, Armond White, gave Adam Sandler’s most recent movie, Jack and Jill, a rave review, because OF COURSE HE DID. (See previously: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Armond White Is A Pretentious Jerk and also Well, “Abortionhorny” Is A Word Now.) Look everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but I’m starting to get the feeling that maybe Armond White isn’t entitled to his opinion. It is almost boring (almost, but still somehow not!) how lazily he attempts to deliver the contrarian position on every single fucking thing. And in his Jack and Jill review he opens–in the very first sentence–by saying that Adam Sandler’s movies aren’t popular with critics because they “are not dumb fun.” They AREN’T? What are we even talking about here anymore?! This part of the review is also pretty solid:

In Jill drag, Sandler looks like young women you see on the subway; she’s a homely archetype Fanny Brice, Judy Canova and Martha Raye made popular. (Eddie Murphy also mastered this comic affection in The Klumps and Norbit.) Credit Sandler’s subtle feminine caricature—especially in dancing and athleticism—that avoids making Jill a clownish grotesque like Tyler Perry’s Madea. Perry’s drag is based in parodying ethnic shame. In Jack and Jill Sandler embraces rude, crude and earthy in ways that Tyler Perry wouldn’t dare. Or will he ever?

He compares the movie to Norbit and The Klumps as a GOOD thing? Sure he does. He’s a genius! Also, what is this shit about girls you see on the subway? What IS THAT?! “Sometimes you see ugly girls in the subway who look like Adam Sandler. I give these girls TWO THUMBS UP.” I am not sure if this is just weird, or nonsense, or both. In any case, Armond White has apparently been kicked off of Rotten Tomatoes now, which would seem like a bit of whitewashing by that otherwise objective compendium of critical thought if you could actually count Armond White’s thought as critical. It seems more bullshitty to me. And ridiculous. Although, in his defense, this IS pretty funny:

No pennies for your thoughts anymore, Armond White. We need those pennies to just drop on the ground and not even bother picking up!