In its relentless attempts to turn any name brand thing that at least 10 children have heard of into a movie franchise, Hollywood, and Warner Bros in particular, has greenlit a movie based on Legos. Do you know what Legos are? They’re inanimate building blocks that you can use to build larger blocks. And then kick into pieces again. Thrilling! From Twitch:
And why should we be interested in this? Well since since 2010 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs co-directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller have been on tap to write and direct. With post production on their 21 Jump Street big screen treatment winding up/down, WB has brought in Robot Chicklen’s Chris McKay as a third director.
Clearly a family-friendly affair, plot details are still under wraps. Meanwhile animation duties go to the Australia based Animal Logic, the house behind Happy Feet and Guardians of Ga’Hoole. While it has been stated that 80% of the movie will take place in a world built entirely of Lego, it is unlikely that the majority of this will be stop-motion with actual bricks, mini-figs etc. due to the long production time needed to animate such objects. Though with McKay on board I do suspect portions of what we see on screen will indeed be physical bricks, which for someone who made stop-motion Lego films as a kid, is absolutely the selling point of all this.
Sounds great. It’s too bad the movie has to be called Legos: The Movie, because another title for it could easily be Perfect: The Movie. No word yet on whether or not the movie will feature real-time Lego construction projects. What we do know is that we’ve gotten our hands on the first pages of the script. VIDEOGUM EXCLUSIVE! After the jump:
INT. WHITE HOUSE – DAY
President Lego is sitting with his fingers tented together, staring at the red Lego phone.
Mr. Lego President, we’re running out of time. We have to make a decision sir.
The President picks up the phone.
Mr. Lego Prime Minister, it’s the Lego President. We have new reports from Lego NASA that there is a Lego asteroid heading towards Lego Earth. We have less than 24 hours before impact. What’s that? Well, no. Right, no. You’re very right, Mr. Lego Prime Minister. Yes, sir. You too. Godspeed.
The Lego President hangs up the Lego phone and swivels in his Lego chair to look out the Lego window at the Lego rose garden. His entire Lego cabinet, gathered in the Lego Oval Office to hear his Lego decision waits anxiously. You could hear a Lego pin drop.
LEGO VICE PRESIDENT
Sir? What did he say?
Slowly, the Lego President turns back to face his friends, family, colleagues, and fellow Lego creatures.
The Prime Minister pointed out that we’re just a bunch of fucking plastic pieces with no central nervous system. He said we definitely can’t feel pain, much less process complicated emotional information. He said not to worry about it. And I quote “Who gives a shit? We’re fucking Legos.”
LEGO FIRST LADY
EXT. LEGO EARTH – NIGHT
The Lego asteroid hits. Lego Earth is destroyed. No survivors. The end.
LEGO FADE TO LEGO BLACK.
Look for me on this year’s The Black List!