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Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Feels like people were kind of quiet this week. Everyone OK? You guys all sick? Get well soon! Here’s something that might get you TALKIN’: the Unofficial Videogum Book Club is starting up again with a very ambitious selection: David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest. That’s a good book! (Controversial opinion, I’m sure. See this week’s Lowest Rated Comment.) Don’t drop it on your foot! You can join your fellow monsters in the reading and discussion of said book here. Hopefully by the time you are finished reading it you will have recuperated from whatever it was that made you incapable of commenting this week. I mean, seriously, it’s a long book, it should give you plenty of time. How sick are you?!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Sad Beetlejuice Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#4 facetaco | Oct 31st Score:57

Skinless Facetaco:

Posted in: Draw Something: Improve Heidi Klum’s Halloween Costume!
#3 R2D2, Esq. | Nov 1st Score:58

Later in the interview:

“I know our relationship might seem unusually close to outsiders, but nothing would ever happen between us. He thinks of me like a daughter.”

Posted in: Yeah We Get It, Scarlett Johansson. WE’RE JEALOUS!
#2 facetaco | Nov 2nd Score:69

No, he just finally found one.

Posted in: Everyone Is Divorced
#1 mrCasual | Nov 2nd Score:83

We need to stop defining people by the color of their skin. I don’t even think of Herman Cain as a black person. I think of him as an Italian person, because he makes pizza.

Posted in: Ann Coulter Should Have Rested Her Garbage Case About Black People!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: mrCasual, that was a great comment! ARE YOU JACK HANDEY? Does Jack Handey comment on Videogum and is he you?! If so, I’m a huge fan. If not, I’m still a huge fan because that was a great comment. Congrats. Likewise to the rest of you. This is your day, all of you. ENJOY IT!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 badideajeans | Oct 28th Score:-17
THIS IS THE WORST BOOK I’VE EVER THROWN OUT A WINDOW. ANYONE WHO LIKES IT IS A JERK.
Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

[Assoc. Ed. Note: The book in question was, topically enough, Infinite Jest. Maybe also a cheap grab for lowest rated?!? Who knows. No one will ever know. Congrats/Boooooooo to you, badideajeans!]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, explainer guy tries again! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

fondue cheddar | Nov 3rd Score:10

She was obviously inspired by Johan Sebastian Baaaaaach Bach Bach Bach Baaaaaaaaaaaach

Posted in: The Chicken Fiddler Is Just Very Good At What She Does

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Sometimes there’s just one perfect joke out there and it doesn’t get said until someone just goes ahead and SAYS IT. Thank you for being the one to do that, fondue cheddar. You really went for it here.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

ElectricKoala | 9:50am Score:5

The complete list of the things she stole in the computer game, my fondest form of the Carmen Sandiego franchise: Here, via Wikipedia, is a complete list of fifty things that Carmen Sandiego stole in Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?:

The Khyber Pass
The Steps To The Tango
Uluru
The Baton Used To Lead The Vienna Boys Choir
The Fish From Half Of Lake Titicaca
The Plans For This Year’s Carnival
The Silver Pagoda
The Game Winning Puck From The First Stanley Cup Championship
The Strait Of Magellan
The Keys To The Forbidden City
Havana’s Best Cigars
Hans Christian Andersen’s Writing Desk
The Nile River Delta
The Gargoyles From Notre Dame Cathedral
The Keys From Beethoven’s First Piano
The Olympic Flame
The Best Coffee
All The Goulash
Geysir
Gandhi’s Glasses
The Island Of Bali
The Presidential Palace’s Finest Rug
The Salt From The Dead Sea
The Sistine Chapel’s Ceiling
The Snow From Atop Mt Fuji
Nairobi International Airport
Every Last Drop Of Salsa
Casablanca
The Abominable Snowman
The Dykes
All The Kiwi Birds
The Delta Of The Niger River
K2
The Controls For The Panama Canal
The Headwaters Of The Amazon River
A Monkey-Eating Eagle
The Trans-Siberian Railroad
The Middle Of The Trans Arabian Pipeline
The Statue Of Sir Stamford Raffles
The Cape Of Good Hope
The Secret Recipe For Kimchee
The Bulls From Pamplona
The Court Stage From Drottingholm Palace
The Ngorongoro Crater
The King’s Siamese Cat
Every Anchovy From The Black Sea
The Keys To The Tower Of London
The Statue Of Liberty’s Torch
The Mekong River
The Zaire River Ferry

Posted in: Jennifer Lopez IS Carmen Sandiego!

[Ed. Note: Admittedly, this week’s Editor’s Choice basically goes to Wikipedia, but still, this is just INFORMATIVE. That being said, it raises a lot of questions. Like, how did Carmen Sandiego STEAL A CRATER? Seems unlikely. I feel like even Sean Connery in Entrapment would’ve been like “Nun-unh.” Nonsense. If anything that game was un-educational, putting junk in children’s brains. Steal the river delta? Go to bed!]