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What Are You Guys Doing For The Twilight Chinese Theatre Ceremony?

Today at 1PM ET/10AM PT, Twilight stars Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner will become immortalized in real life (finally) when they put their handprints and footprints in the cement outside of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. NO DOY! From our newspaper of choice, The Hollywood Reporter:

The trio’s hand and foot prints will be immortalized outside Hollywood’s legendary Chinese Theatre during a Nov. 3 ceremony, inducting them into an elite club of just over 250 members.

250 people?! That is not a lot of people! Luckily these three people are super good and I would never suggest that they didn’t deserve to put their hands in the cement outside of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre so when aliens invade our planet 100 years from now they’ll know what size Taylor Lautner’s hands were, but holy moly! What an elite group. But I’m sure you all knew this was happening today, correct? You’re all already there to witness it for yourselves? And if you couldn’t get there for some health reason or whatever you’re having a party at home? Right? GUYS! Hellooooooo, guys? Are you telling me that you haven’t planned your party yet? Are you fucking serious? I’m sorry. I don’t like to curse normally, but this is absolutely insane. Our generation’s greatest actors are putting their mark in the actor cement and you’re not even going to throw a party about it? Give me a break. Luckily you still have — if you’re reading this at 12:30– half an hour to throw something together. YOU CAN DO IT! Here are a few things you’ll need to do: 

  1. Create and send invitations to 50 of your closest friends.
  2. Buy decorations: Candles, a Hollywood sign, portraits of vampires, framed posters of each of the stars, fake spiderwebs, a recreation of Bella’s wedding dress & a mummy statue to wear it, a few full sized wax figures of Taylor Lautner, lots of lipstick, bags of fake blood, glitter.
  3. Buy snacks: Doritos, milk, red food dye for the milk.
  4. Dress up: Buy an evening gown or a fancy tux, depending on which if those is a more attractive option for you. Wear it and also wear a tiara + vampire teeth in your mouth. Also do your hair and makeup so you look as much like Kristen Stewart as possible. If you don’t look anything like Kristen Stewart, print out a photograph of her and then use it to sculpt her face out of some of the wax from one of the wax Taylor Lautners and put that on your face.
  5. (Make sure you include on your invitations that you want your guests to do the same.)
  6. Get cement and put your face in it.
  7. Greet your guests.
  8. Make everyone be super quiet.
  9. Either watch the live stream of the event here, or just observe the occasion with your head down in the cement in silence for one hour.

SEE?! That is going to be a snap to throw together, so please get started already. You’re giving me a lot of anxiety. I can’t believe you waited until now to do this.