Ann Coulter Should Have Rested Her Garbage Case About Black People!

The other day, Ann Coulter said that the Republican party’s blacks were “more impressive” than the Democratic party’s blacks, which of course she did, and which oh brother. Like, that is already just a whole mess to untangle that I am not sure I would even want to get into it. Besides, what are you going to do? When you wake up screaming, do you get mad at the nightmare? Nightmares doin’ what nightmares do. But now Ann Coulter appeared on The Joy Behar Show to defend herself, and that is when things get REAL dicey.

What a lunatic. What a disgusting, miserable, lying lunatic. (The worst part about Ann Coulter, which is the worst part about a lot of the loudest right wing rhetoricians is that she’s just clearly lying? Like, she knows that she is full of shit and she doesn’t believe half the things that come out of her mouth, but she also knows what gets ratings and what sells books and cetra, so she refuses to break character. See also: Bill O’Reilly.) The thing is, though, she almost makes sense for a second, before stopping to make sense, and then closing it off with one of the more bullshit things anyone has said in awhile. Hear me out:

The thing about how it takes more effort for black people to become vocal republicans is probably true! (Whether or not this is “impressive” is another thing altogether.) She doesn’t really spend any time examining why, of course. In her crackpot mind, it would appear that the only reason a black person WOULDN’T be republican is because of fear of going against their family’s politics or whatever and not due to, say, the party’s history of racism and at the very least their complete indifference towards social injustice and economic inequality, two issues that affect large swaths of the minority population. But, so, if we just ignore those things for a second, it is true that there is a knee-jerk tendency, at least among many whites, to think that there is something up with black republicans. It’s not unlike the log cabin republicans. You know, just, like, what? Guys? You OK? What’s up? And maybe that’s not fair. Everyone is certainly entitled to their beliefs, and it’s condescending and unfair to simply assume that they are wrong in their political opinions because of assumptions you make about their goals and/or background. I never thought I would say this, but one point, Ann Coulter.

Then, of course, she gets into one-to-one black person comparisons which we are not going to touch because we do not want to get ELECTROCUTED by RACISM. That’s just horrifying and also one of the most fallacious logical constructions you can possibly make. Like, I’m sure you can pick three miserable people and compare them to three wonderful people and pretend like you have proven a point (which she didn’t even do here, I’m just saying) but you wouldn’t have proven anything other than that you do not know how logic, arguments, or the world works. Leave it alone. Don’t touch it. It’s the devil’s bits at the end of Time Bandits.

But then Ann Coulter gets REAL ANN COULTER-ISH when she says that “the only racism you hear in America these days is against conservative blacks.” KABOOOOOOOM! Coulter BOMB in your FACE! You know, it is hard to be on a TV show like this. There’s the lights and the aggressive air conditioning and you only have a little bit of time to make sense and if the other person is disagreeing with you maybe the words come out a little wrong sometimes and that’s to be expected and forgiven. But, a thousand monkeys talking into a thousand microphones in the British Museum wouldn’t say something like THAT! Unbelievable. And also unacceptable. I mean, just straight up factual nonsense right on the face of it, but combined with the fact that the Tea Party is the most racist shit ever, this spiderbeast has some balls on it.

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