Gabe: First of all, before we begin, let me just say that you’re fired
Kelly: Ok, no, that’s fine
Kelly: I understand completely
Gabe: if you need a letter of recommendation
Gabe: you can’t have one
Gabe: no one writes letters anymore
Gabe: tell them to hit me up on chat or facebook
Kelly: You know, I don’t think I’ll be needing one
Kelly: I think I might just quit everything altogether
Kelly: I’ve given it a good enough run, I think this is the end
Gabe: yeah, no, you tried your best
Kelly: So really thank you
Gabe: hang it up
Gabe: a lot of people are like “never give up,” i’m like “maybe it’s time”
Gabe: i feel like you know you, you know?
Kelly: Oh I know. You’re like, “Maybe it’s time” and I’m like, “I’m not even listening anymore.”
Gabe: so, let’s talk about these fucking clothes!
Gabe: while you pack up your desk!
Kelly: OK GREAT!
Kelly: First of all they look stunning and I love them all very much
Kelly: Do you have an opinion on them
Gabe: well, first of all, let’s tell people
Gabe: what they are
Gabe: and this is just one of the reasons i’m firing you
Gabe: but it’s not all of the reasons
Kelly: They’re CLOTHES
Kelly: They’re clothes based on the movie and book Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Kelly: coming to H&M soon
Kelly: Designed by…
Kelly: Trish Summerville, the costume designer
Gabe: Mikquels Blahmqohtsht
Gabe: is that right?
Gabe: is it his outfits? or the sociopathic rape victim’s outfits?
Kelly: It’s the sociopathic rape victim’s outfits because it is sexy, please get with it
Kelly: It’s just what young women WANT
Kelly: Sex crime clothing
Kelly: At a reasonable price
Kelly: And they want to try it on in dressing rooms where you can’t even see anything because what is the DEAL with H&M dressing rooms
Gabe: i feel like you’ve got a completely separate agenda
Gabe: from discussing these lisbeth salamander rape costumes
Kelly: If I have to use GWTDT rape costumes as a platform to get to the real issue of how H&M dressing rooms are only dark closets that give you migraines I will do it
Gabe: look, i know that there’s no such thing as rape-y outfits because rape has nothing to do with clothing and it’s an act of violence and aggression etc
Gabe: there is something kind of weird about a line of clothing
Gabe: based on someone who is surrounded by so much rape?
Gabe: i mean, if clothing is aspirational, and this clothing has a series of 1,000-page novels behind it
Gabe: what is the aspiration here
Gabe: or is it just for girls who wish they were better at hacking into Photoshop or whatever
Kelly: The aspiration is, I guess, to look like, I don’t know, a tough gal who doesn’t take any shit
Kelly: But still knows how to wear clothing pretty well, but it isn’t really any kind of a thing?
Kelly: A young girl who wears clothes for their utilitarian purpose and
Kelly: you know
Kelly: WHATEVER if they just happen to look like they’re from a stylish movie about rape
Kelly: Like I kind of want that leather jacket thing the girl is wearing second in on the right?
Kelly: Probably lots of people want that jacket
Kelly: And I think it’s maybe easy to remove the look from the rape part
Gabe: so get rid of the rape
Gabe: and JUST leave the sociopath
Kelly: Yes basically
Gabe: i mean, the reality is this line of clothing would just be called “GOTH CLOTHES” if it was 15 years ago.
Gabe: and chris kattan still worked at the Cinnabon
Kelly: because the movie, at least the trailer and the muppets trailer, are so STYLEY
Kelly: But like wouldn’t you want…hmmmmmmm
Kelly: I was going to say I want all of the clothes from Rosemary’s Baby but I DON’T want a demon baby
Kelly: That makes sense, right? Case closed.
Kelly: But REALLY what I’m saying is that I don’t know, this is a kind of really disturbing line of clothing that in order to accept
Kelly: you have to forget all the rape behind it
Gabe: that makes sense
Gabe: except that Rosemary from Rosemary’s baby was a normal woman
Gabe: caught up in a world of monsters
Gabe: so you’re saying you want to look normal
Gabe: and like you’re married to Frank Sinatra
Kelly: Hmm your’e right
Kelly: BUT wouldn’t you want her husband’s suits
Gabe: oh, look
Gabe: i would take john cassavetes suits from rosemary’s baby
Gabe: in a second
Gabe: and if they came with a devil baby
Gabe: and a successful television writing career
Gabe: so be it
Kelly: You’re right, ok that analogy fails
Gabe: i mean, the closest comparison we have right now is
Gabe: the satin jacket from Drive
Gabe: and what’s interesting is that Ryan Gosling in Drive was ALSO a sociopath
Kelly: Hmm TRUE
Kelly: And Drive is also kind of a disturbing movie to base a fashion trend around, because of all of the horrific murder
Kelly: It doesn’t feel as weird though
Kelly: Because I guess it’s hard to make rape as cartoony as murder
Kelly: And the murder was very throw-away cartoony in that movie a lot of the time
Gabe: i guess everyone wants to look like a hipster who doesn’t care about life or death
Kelly: lighthearted murder
Gabe: right, fun murder
Gabe: i think the difference is literally the soundtrack
Gabe: do you want to be a sociopath who listens to fun synthy pop music
Gabe: or a sociopath who listens to droning set pieces by Trent Reznor?
Gabe: that is the main decision facing today’s youth
Kelly: A choice every young woman has to make