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Quotes That Didn’t Make It Into Morning Joe’s “Rick Perry Birther Interview” Reenactment

As we all know, President Barack Obama was born in Kenya. He’s black, first of all. Black? Give me a break. Second of all, show us the birth certificate if he wasn’t. The REAL one — the one that says he was born in Kenya; then we’ll talk. Hah, GOTCHA! Ugh, anyway, while many of us gave up the birther fight after President Obama did release his long-form birth certificate, there are still a few (probably a lot, actually, but let’s move forward thinking that it’s only a few) holding onto the idea that the birth certificate was a fake, doy, of course. Among them are some of America’s greatest minds — Donald Trump for instance, and as it turns out also Rick Perry! NOOOO! NOT MY TWO FAVORITE THINKERS! In an interview with Parade Magazine, Perry discusses how Trump was able to convince him of this true fact. This, unfortunately, was not captured on video, but luckily Morning Joe’s Willie Geist and Mark Halperin were able to provide us with a reenactment.

 

Perfect, just a perfect interview with lots of very smart things about it and nothing crazy or mind-blowingly nonsensical at all. How could Rick Perry possibly have a definitive answer about whether President Obama was born in America if President Obama has, for a fact, never seen Rick Perry’s birth certificate? HUH, “BARACK”? He’s just asking the questions that everyone else is afraid to ask. Also he had dinner with Donald Trump the other night, sooooo. But, just like Obama’s true origins, lots of true and real things that the public has a right to know about get covered up on a daily basis. Take for instance these true and real quotes senselessly left out of Rick Perry’s Parade interview:

  • “I’m not sure birth control is a substance — my views on it are incomplete at the moment, there is no way to be sure that I’ve seen as of yet, but for now my stance is that it is not a substance and all non-substances should be looked into more deeply.”
  • “It’s a piece of paper. All I’m saying is that I come across many pieces of paper ever day, and also pens. If I can put pen to paper and write ‘Birth Certificate,’ what’s to say President Obama couldn’t have done the same? That’s all I’m saying, though the fact remains that he is the President.”
  • “I read the other night.”
  • “Donald Trump said to me, ‘You’re fired.’ I said, ‘At dinner?’ He said — ‘It’s from my show.'”
  • “I don’t know. I had dinner with the moon the other night.”
  • “I don’t know. I had dinner with Kelly the other night. She said Kurt Cobain was murdered and told me to look at the suicide note, TWO DIFFERENT PENS.”
  • “For breakfast, I had coffee and brushed my teeth. How do you think, for that, how would they know? That is all I’m saying on the subject.”

Let Rick Perry show you his birth certificate, Obama! TRUMP 4 PREZ! (Via Mediaite.)