This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

I’m going to be honest with you: not a great week for movie trailers. Apparently there are trailers for a new Madonna movie and also the directorial debut of Angelina Jolie, but both of those have been taken down by The Movie Trailer Police, because apparently I guess you don’t want to let too many people hear about your movie or else they might actually get interested and go to see it. Yikes. It’s called marketing, dummy. There is a war movie with Christian Bale and the trailer for Piranha 3DD and a couple other things. You can check them out if you want to, I’m just being honest that we’ve seen better weeks. Would it have been better if I had lied? And then what would we have left? A shattered world. And four mediocre trailers. MMMOOOOVIEESSSS!

Flowers of War

This looks very serious. HAHHAHAHAHA. I am the new Roger Ebert. Do you guys ever feel like I’m TOO insightful?


I’m worried that this will not be very good. Because it looks pretty good! And also Vince Howard! But somewhere between it being an MTV Movies movie, and also the general overuse of “found footage” in the culture at the moment, and also the difficulty in creating entirely new mythologies in the span of an hour and a half, I just, I don’t know. Fingers crossed? I’ve got my doubts!

London Boulevard

So this is basically In Bruges 2: OH YEAH! where Kiera Knightley plays Vincent Chase, right? Right. Fair enough. Give a gangster an English accent and I think we’re all pretty much on board.

Piranha 3DD Teaser

I didn’t even watch this trailer. Was it good? I hope it was good! This stuff is just not for me. That’s OK, that’s why God made there be billions of people. So that some of them would want to watch Piranha 3DD.