The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Anderson Cooper’s Fecal Strep

Oh, Anderson Cooper. What is even UP?! Daytime talk shows are incredible, and Anderson is making sure that it is no exception. Sending your cell phone to some lab to see if it has poop on it? Cool AND informative. (I do love that they show a b-roll shot of Anderson Cooper’s office door but they blur out the…office number? You can never be too safe. I mean, imagine if we knew the number of Anderson’s office? Then we would just have to find the building and he would practically live in the dirt pit in our basement. Admittedly, even without the number, we could probably just look for the door marked ANDERSON COOPER, but you know, safety first.) This segment does sort of reference this scientific study I heard about a year or two ago that has made me laugh ever since in which scientists gave a group of test subjects food laced with radioactive dye and then later did a scan of them to see if there was any fecal matter present and it was just everywhere. Like, glowing smears all over their faces and in their hair and their clothes just soaked in it. Hahahahhahahahhaha. SCIENCE! You guys are disgusting, go take a bath. But before you do, let’s caption this video. Namely what I want to know is WHAT DOES THE FECAL STREP ON ANDERSON COOPER’S PHONE HAVE TO SAY?!

Winner will receive special mention in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. Good luck, poop monsters. (Video via Dlisted.)