What Will Fred Durst’s Catchphrase Be On His CBS Sitcom?

GREAT NEWS! I have absolutely perfect news. Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst, who penned your favorite song of the ’90s, “Nookie,” and your second favorite song of the ’90s, “Break Stuff,” and directed your favorite movie that you have on your Netflix queue because Jesse Eisenberg is on the cover but probably you won’t ever watch it, The Education of Charlie Banks, is going to star in a sitcom for CBS! ABOUT HIS OWN (not really, though) (he wishes!) LIFE! From Deadline:

[Fred Durst] has partnered with CBS TV Studios-based producers Eric and Kim Tannenbaum on a half-hour comedy project, which he will star in and produce. The untitled comedy, sometimes referred to as Douchebag, has received a script commitment. It centers around a rock legend looking for balance between his high profile lifestyle and trying to raise a family.

!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s all I can say about this one — lots of exclamation points. Obviously it already has the BEST name, I can’t even believe Hollywood got it so right, and it has the best cast, no matter who else is in it. But. WILL IT ALSO HAVE THE BEST CATCHPHRASE? (Yes.)

  • “It’s just one of those days.”
  • “Honey. I’m a rock legend.” (“OOOooooooooohhhhhhh.” -Studio audience every time.)
  • “I’m a real douchebag.”
  • “Honey, that’s great, but…WHERE’S MY CAP?”
  • “Who am I, Jonathan Davis over here?”
  • “Everything is fucked. Everybody sucks.” (Studio audience erupts in awwwwws, which gradually turn into furious applause every time.)
  • “My biscuit is…LIIIIIIIIIIIMP.” (Said whenever Fred Durst is holding an actual biscuit, which will be often, and the whole studio audience joins in when he says “liiiiiiiiimp.”)

Oh my goodness I can’t even express how excited I am for this absolutely for sure terrible TV show. Though if there’s no Wes Borland cameo I might have to throw all my TVs out the window. IT’S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS!