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This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

Let’s get ready to MOOOOVIIIIIIIIES! Did you guys know that Apple is finally releasing a movie trailers app for the iPhone and iPad? This is good. They should have done this a long time ago. I love watching movie trailers, and it is about time there was a way to do so when I am on the go, just like we all are what with modern life in the big city and all. But when you’re NOT trying to hail a taxi or spilling a latte on your DKNY pantsuit right before the big presentation to Gabriel Byrne (the two places you would use the Apple app, probably) you can still watch all of this week’s movie trailers in our Friday round up, right here. The future is now. Well, after the jump:

The Avengers

It’s here! It’s here! The Avengers trailer is here! As soon as this trailer came out this week I saw some blog post that was like “10 Ways The Avengers Trailer Could Be Better.” Fuck. Is that where we’re at? Seriously? That is very intense! It is a movie trailer! Let’s all relax, plz. Anyway, I think this looks good. Why not? Love these guys. All our old pals. Also, the part where Tony Stark does his quippy comeback to Captain America, that is a good part. And also the part where Captain America grows up and stops being such a boring sourpuss (not featured) is very exciting.

This Means War

This is one of those movie trailers where you’re watching it and something just isn’t sitting right. Like, not only does the movie look kind of terrible and also painfully transparent (how many Disney dollars says it turns out she is a spy at the end double-timing BOTH of them or some nonsense?) but just in general, like a feeling that there is more to the reason that you’re not into it, and then you see “Directed by McG,” and you just GET IT.

American Reunion Teaser

This bums me out intensely. Next trailer, please.

Albert Nobbs

Haha. It’s like Downton Abbey except it turns out that Mr. Bates isn’t actually crippled, he just has a vagina. On the one hand this movie looks kind of good, and on the other hand this movie looks VERY ridiculous. I’m all for interesting stories told with seriousness and gravitas, but at a certain point it starts to feel heavy-handed and silly, and also you can tell “he” is a “she” from the very beginning but I guess this is a period piece before human beings evolved eyeballs.

Answers to Nothing

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE! Dane Cook IS Crash 2. Needless to say, this looks pretty terrible. I know being white is hard, but it’s not THAT hard. Also Matt Saracen is in this? A rare miss, movie trailer.

Sleeping Beauty

Art.

Shame

Also art. This looks very sexy!!! Hahhahahhaha. Oh man, I hope there is a screening of this movie somewhere with the director that features a Q&A afterwards so that I can raise my hand and say “This movie is so sexy,” and he can be like “I’m not sure that’s a question, but also this is a serious and dramatic look at the ravages of sex addiction, which is very serious and very self-destructive,” and I will be like “OOH LA LA TELL ME MORE!”