Videogum Everywhere Mission: Don’t Buy A Drive Jacket

Almost all of us loved Drive. It was a fun and exciting and disgusting and Ryan Gosling is very nice to watch in a movie. Every single human knows that about him. When he asked the little kid if he wanted a toothpick? Give me a break. When he said his car didn’t have wheels? Come on. But another thing that was great about Drive was Ryan’s scorpion jacket. “An instant classic.” We even learned all about it in this interview with the designer, remember? And probably 80% of all men (or women! or women.) left the movie theater wanting to own that jacket. And now they can! From the Daily Mail:

The scorpion-motif jacket — an integral part of Gosling’s character in the film — may be set to become an cult movie prop, the film gaining rave reviews and an instant fan club since premiering. The off-white varsity-style jacket, embroidered with the yellow insect on its back, is being sold by vintage specialists, Steady Clothing, for $159.99. With a sale date expected on 15th November, the site is now taking pre-orders.

But here’s the thing.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON’T! You are going to look so foolish if you buy this jacket! I promise! Like you’re constantly in a Halloween costume that would be annoying to have on EVEN DURING Halloween. And it won’t even ship until after Halloween! I promise you that you will not look as cool as Ryan Gosling. EVEN IF the jacket would have otherwise made you look cool, which I don’t believe it would have because it is a shiny white silk jacket with a scorpion on it, you will not look cool because you will be wearing a MOVIE PROP and everyone will be aware of that. So, your mission is simple. Just don’t buy it! Put your $159.99 back into your overflowing money clip and pretend like you never even saw it. Maybe try searching for something like this. Don’t you feel better? I feel better. (Via FilmDrunk.)