What Is This Method Man Sour Patch Kids Video?

The pairing of musicians and primarily Internet-based video advertising for random products is as old as time, I’m sure. And it doesn’t not make sense. For example, I doubt very many Rob Zombie fans were also very big Woolite users before he directed that Woolite commercial. And now look! They cannot get enough of that stuff. So the fact that a Method Man released a music video today for a song about what happens to the sour patch kids you don’t eat (which is that they play pranks on you, no duh, we all live on Earth, we all know what happens to the sour patch kids you don’t eat) should come as no surprise. Sure. Of course he’s rapping about candy coming to life and clogging your toilet, and then also about how good it is and how it is sour and then sweet while little sour patch kids dance around him. IT’S METHOD MAN, HELLO. But what I don’t understand is: Why the heck didn’t they make it A SLIGHTLY BETTER SONG?

This song is terrible! It doesn’t even have a memorable hook! Method Man, if you’re going to do something, at least put a little effort into it. You’re already doing it, you already look completely foolish. I’m all about buying sour patch kids already, so the advertising really means nothing, but if I weren’t already really into buying sour patch kids this video would have NO effect. I listened to it like one minute ago and I can’t even remember how it goes. Frankly, all I remember is that the bag is hard to open. Let’s go back to the drawing LogicPro on this one, HUH BOYS? You’re fired. Until you make a better song you’re fired. I fired you. (Thanks for the tip, Scott!)