Why Don’t You Just Marry Tom Cruise Already, Brad Bird?!

Brad Bird, the director of Pixar’s The Incredibles, and also Ratatouille, both of which are great, although I prefer The Incredibles, in case that matters, which it doesn’t, is making his live-action directorial debut this winter with Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (working title: Mission Impossible 9.0: Dubai Nights). Congratulations, Brad Bird! Your new movie looks really good for exactly what it is: a Mission Impossible movie! But, so, the LA Times has an interview with Brad Bird today and apparently he wants to kiss Tom Cruise on his FACE! Look at these quotes!

“He’s ruined me for everyone else,” says Bird, who makes his live-action directorial debut in December after minting a major Hollywood profile with animation powerhouse Pixar. “I’m not going to understand after this point why any actor doesn’t want to do all of their own stunts and hang off of a mile-high building. He truly loves the movies and the movie-making process, and he knows a ton about it but is incredibly polite and shows up on time and has done all of his homework.”

And also:

“He’s made for movies the way Michael Phelps is built for swimming,” two-time Oscar winner Bird said. “You look at the directors he’s worked with too, it’s a who’s who. Scorsese and Kubrick and Spielberg and Oliver Stone — when Oliver Stone was making better movies — and Michael Mann and Sydney Pollack and on and on and on. It’s kind of stunning. Not every one of them was a great movie, but he’s worked with great directors over and over again, and you can engage him in those conversations.”

Hahha. Take it easy, Brad Bird! Like, not only is Tom Cruise already super-famous and has been for over 1,000 years (bless Zandu) but he’s ALREADY IN YOUR MOVIE! You’ve got it on lock, Brad Bird. No one can take Tom Cruise away from you now. So, you know, write it in your diary. And then lock your diary and put it under your pillow. And then GO TO BED.