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Who Should Play The Lead In Pride And Prejudice And Zombies, Whatever That Even Is?

I don’t know what Pride And Prejudice And Zombies is. These are the things I know about it: It’s Pride And Prejudice with zombies included somehow, my nerdy brother really likes it, and it was published by a publishing house in Philadelphia that turned me down for an internship once. Other than that I don’t understand. Is it just sections of Pride and Prejudice with zombie things thrown in? Is it a complete re-imagining? Is it just cardboard that plays a laugh track when you open it, like those birthday cards that sing a song? Who knows. Oh, but another thing I know about it is that it’s going to be a movie that no one wants to be involved with. From Collider:

As the adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith’s gimmick novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has cycled through directors (first David O. Russell, then Mike White, and now Craig Gillespie), multiple actresses have passed on the lead role of Elizabeth Bennett.  Natalie Portman was originally attached to star, but then she dropped out.  The part has been offered to Anne Hathaway, Mia Wasikowska, Scarlett Johansson, Emma Stone, and there have been no takers.

Hahah. Sounds promising! Now the role has been offered to Blake Lively, who will probably take it I imagine because what has she got to lose, you know, if we’re being honest with ourselves and with her. But in case she doesn’t take it, WHO SHOULD TAKE IT?

Vanessa?

A big hat?

Zooey Deschanel?

A lady robot?

Snookie?

ModCloth.com?

A bottle of champagne?

Makeup?

Taylor Momson?

A cupcake that likes listening to music?

SO MANY GOOD CHOICES! My head is spinning with all of the good options for a movie that in no way seems doomed to fail at whatever it’s even trying to do!