Jim Carrey’s Message To Emma Stone Was A “Comical Love Letter,” Whatever The Hell THAT Even Means?!

Understandably, Jim Carrey’s vlog about Emma Stone was one of the HOTTEST stories on the ‘Net yesterday, because everyone loves a shaky-cam trainwreck. And make no mistake, that thing was a capital TRAIN TRAINwreck. Many people argued that it was just a “joke,” which I have not heard back from the OED people yet, but I am pretty sure everyone who said that is using the word “joke” wrong, and other people used the even more condescending argument that they can’t believe anyone thinks he’s serious. Well, sure. It has less to do with thinking he’s serious and more to do with WHAT WAS HE THINKING? It is now almost 48 hours since he posted the video and it is still completely unclear WHAT THE HELL IS THAT VIDEO?! Of course, with a Viral Buzz like this one (namely, the Viral Buzz of a 49-year-old man telling a 22-year-old how good their sex would be, also camping) you know Jim Carrey’s representatives will have to respond, and they have. From MSNBC:

While his words may have raised eyebrows to some, a rep for the star said it’s all meant in good fun. “It’s a comical love letter,” Carrey’s rep told Access when asked about the video.

Hahahha. Wait, WHAT? That’s the response? Look, to their credit, they didn’t just say “it was a joke,” because that’s kind of what you would expect, and that response would not explain “WHAT IS THE JOKE?” There is literally nothing funny about that video. Nothing. It’s gross and weird and inappropriate and unnecessary and it is lots of things but it’s not funny. But at least if they had just said “it was a joke,” I would have understood what those words meant. WHAT IS A COMICAL LOVE LETTER?! I can imagine what a “comical love letter” is, but at the end of the day, THAT IS STILL A LOVE LETTER. So, you know, NOT A JOKE. In which case all of the things about how disgusting and weird this whole thing is STILL APPLY. Ugh. So gross. And then Carrey himself had this to say:

Carrey also tweeted about the video, writing, “Yes, my msg to Emma Stone was a comedy routine and the funniest part is that everything i said is tru.”

AY-AY-AY! My head is literally spinning around so fast that the neck is all twisted up like a Twizzler and yoops POP, there it goes. Well, since the OED people haven’t gotten back to me on the official definition of the word “joke” yet, I would like them to please add “comical love letter” and also “comedy routine” to the list of words we all need help with because clearly they mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Comedy routine. I AM SURE. Haha. Comedy routine. GOOD COMEDY ROUTINE, MAN! “And the funniest part is that everything I said is tru.” YOU HEARD HIM, BOYS!

“Here, why don’t you cover yourself with this towel and have a seat, Jim.”