Dina Lohan’s Movie Is Going To Be Great! NOT! LOLOLOLOLOL!

Ashley Lohan’s mother, Dina Lohan (Fun Fact: Dina Lohan was the original inspiration for “Mother of the Year” mousepads! True! Probably!) is trying to produce a movie, and it just sounds really great. From TMZ:

TMZ has obtained a copy of the business plan Dina’s sending to prospective financiers — asking for a grand total of $5.28 million to shoot an R-rated film called “Growing Defiant” — which takes “a hard look at the social pressures that can lead a kid in the wrong direction.” Hmmm.

According to the business plan, the actors she’ll go after include Dakota Fanning, Selena Gomez, Michael Cera, James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon, Tina Fey, Amanda Seyfried, Hayden Panettiere, Emma Stone, and Mila Kunis … oh, and Michael Lohan, Jr. in the starring role of a heroin addict. Now here’s the best part. There’s an asterisk at the bottom of the plan, which reads, “The cast listed above is a suggested cast list only. Michael Lohan is the only cast member who has been signed.”

Hahaha. Is this what Project Greenlight is about? Look, no one is saying that Dina Lohan doesn’t know what it is like to watch teenagers do heroin. No one is saying that she doesn’t have FIRST HAND experience seeing teenagers doing tons of heroin right under their parents’ noses. But, also, WHAT IS THIS DREAM CAST? Why does she even want Tina Fey and Michael Cera in her hard-hitting after-school-special? Selena Gomez, SURE, but what, no Chris Kattan?! Well, I’m sure all of our questions will be answered on opening night when we can’t even get tickets because it’s sold out everywhere and the line is around the world.