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Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Did you guys watch the “Otis” video yet? With Kanye and Jay-Z? People have a lot of different opinions about that album and that song because that is what people do. They are born, they have opinions, they either do or don’t go to the gym every once in awhile, and they die. The end. The thing about that video, though, is everyone is smiling so much and having such a great time! That’s great. It’s nice when people are feeling good and aren’t afraid to show it. And that is what I wish for you this weekend. Have a very “Otis video” weekend. (And if you’re in the Atlanta area, feel free to meet up with your fellow monsters, who are doing that. As always: watch out for murderers. And true love.)

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Insensitive Ironic T-Shirt Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 huckabeast | Aug 10th Score:57

I like you, Gabe, but if you ever humiliate my girlfriend like that again, I will not be responsible for my actions.

They will be superbad.

Posted in: A Fake Interview With Emma Stone
#4 Gobblegirl | Aug 9th Score:58

We’re knocking him for not getting a roommate, but be honest: would you want to live with this guy?

Posted in: Don’t Live In An Apartment Like This
#2 R2D2, Esq. | Aug 9th Score:70

Having a tiny apartment is the new constantly mentioning that you don’t even own a TV.

Posted in: Don’t Live In An Apartment Like This
#1 R2D2, Esq. | Aug 5th Score:81

I’m looking forward to when Gwyneth Paltrow makes her landmark appearance on Gabe and Max Like The Internet.

Posted in: The Louis CK Talking To Dane Cook Scene Is Genuinely Important

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Whoa, way to go R2D2, Esq. The top two comments??? That has NEVER been done before! Which is probably a lie! I’m not sure if it’s been done before, I’m actually probably sure that it has. But didn’t that make you feel good when you read that it had never been done before?]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 thelocaltrust | Aug 10th Score:-16
Paul Rudd is about as yummy as a kick in the testicles
Posted in: Paul Rudd Continues To Be Very Appealing

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Now, I think these downvotes were a bit presumptuous. Maybe this person LOVES getting kicked in the testicles? Maybe he thinks getting kicked in the testicles is very handsome and charming and would probably actually be funny and nice if you met it in person? You don’t know this person’s life! Thelocaltrust: #1 getting kicked in the testicles/Paul Rudd fan of all time, maybe.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, Mailman! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

Nate Scott! | Aug 11th Score:23

I have the weirdest tears right now.

Posted in: You Can Make It Up: Bert And Ernie Get Divorced

[Assoc. Ed. Note: I have to explain this choice a little bit. I’ve always been a person who references things constantly and mostly in situations where those references don’t even make sense at all. You know what I mean, I won’t get into it. But lately it has gotten much worse. Yesterday a person was trying to have a conversation with me and I responded only with some really very stupid reference and that person said, “So this is what your brain is now?” And I would really like that to not be what my brain is now but I think that unfortunately, yes, that is what my brain is now. And after I read the Bert and Ernie fan fiction my first thought was, “I have the weirdest tears right now.” And I hated myself for it. Oh my goodness. And then I saw that you, Nate Scott!, had posted this exact same thing in the comments. And then I hated myself so much more, you have no idea. I’m surprised that I am alive to tell the tale. But. Also. Great job, Nate Scott! Great joke. Great minds think like every other mind on the Internet. Mind brothers for life.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

raptor jesus | Aug 11th Score:4

Corporations are not Pockets!!

Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Corporations Are Not People

[Ed. Note: This is just a very good point. It’s exactly the kind of thing that NO ONE seems willing to talk about in these political primaries. Open your eyes, Sheeple. First they came for the pockets and you were silent. And other jokes about politics and corporations and Karl Marx and pockets.]