Other Reasons Why AMC Fired Frank Darabont, Maybe, Who Knows

In an article titled “What Really Happened to Fired Showrunner Frank Darabont?” in the new issue of The Hollywood Reporter, THR attempts to explain why AMC fired the Walking Dead showrunner halfway through filming the show’s second season a few weeks ago. Remember when that happened? That was weird! The article lists a few main boring possibilities that are mostly only boring and who cares — First, it was too expensive. AMC cut the per-episode budget from $3.4 million to $2.75 million and Darabont didn’t want to cooperate:

Despite the show’s success, AMC stuck to its original position on the second-season budget. When those involved with the show protested that the network was taking chances with its biggest hit, AMC’s head of original programming, Joel Stillerman, is said to have declared, “Ratings have no bearing on this conversation.”

Along with that there is talk of how an episode had footage that was not useable — “dealbreaker” – AMC –and also basically about how Frank Darabont is just a jerk, but pretty much ZzzzZZzzz. And it’s all speculative anyway because it’s a huge mystery, our generation’s greatest mystery, and I’m taking no liberties at all in saying that. So here are some other speculations, JUST AS GOOD, about maybe why he got fired that I’ve put together based on my knowledge of the industry and Frank Darabont and Hollywood and The Walking Dead, a television show (based on true events [?]) that I’ve never seen.

  • Frank Darabont is an alien from outer space. AMC found out that he was an alien from outer space and they weren’t mad because he was an alien, they were just mad that he felt the need to hide the fact that he was an alien. But then they quickly realized that they had to report him to the government. So they did that and then the government maybe murdered him? Or at least they’re keeping him in a lab somewhere for testing. So the Frank Darabont you see now is just an impersonator. And you can’t let just any impersonator be the showrunner for the #1 show in the 18-42 male demographic or whatever, so they had to fire him.
  • Frank Darabont hit on AMC’s 16-year-old daughter. “I didn’t know she was 16! Why do you let her dress like a slutty 27-year-old?!” asked Frank Darabont. AMC didn’t want to hear any of it and they are VERY protective of their 16-year-old daughter (who has definitely slept with like a million old showrunners by now but poor AMC has no idea), so they fired him.
  • Frank Darabont lied on his resume.
  • Frank Darabont is actually very, very scared of zombies. He couldn’t sleep at all through any of the showrunning of The Walking Dead. And when he did sleep, he was plagued by terrible zombie nightmares. “Ya gotta help me out here, AMC,” pleaded Darabont, crying. “I don’t know what to do.” “Why don’t you just quit?” asked AMC. “QUIT?” exclaimed Darabont. “A DARABONT NEVER QUITS!” AMC nodded solemnly.
  • Frank Darabont was getting a little too close with AMC’s latest crush.
  • Frank Darabont made an entire prank episode titled “The Walking Bread.” It was all about zombie bread and it was all stop motion. He really liked it and thought it was cute and funny and in good taste, but AMC was having none of it. Because, first of all, he spent four million dollars on it. Second of all, they thought he was working on an actual episode and now they’re behind schedule. Third of all, he KNOWS that AMC is allergic to gluten and they’re JUST TRYING TO LIVE THEIR LIVES WITHOUT BEING MOCKED.
  • Frank Darabont was upset about something and said he quit and then AMC was like “no takesies backsies” and Frank was like “no but!” and AMC was like “nah-uhhhhh” and Frank was like, “Aw guys c’mon you know I didn’t mean it,” and AMC was like, “Nope, I can’t hear you lalalalala,” and plugged their ears.

I don’t know. Who knows why he was fired? No one knows. Could be any of these.