I was reading the Sunday New York Times yesterday because I am white and I went to college, and boy oh boy but that thing can really bring you down. Good thing I was still full from a delicious brunch and that I had my glass of white wine nearby or who knows how mildly affected I might have been! Seriously, though, this whole thing (this whole thing = planet Earth) is such a mess. First of all, there were tons of articles about the debt ceiling and I don’t even know that I want to get into all of that, unless it is to congratulate America’s paper of record for sneaking a Spaceballs reference into an article charting the history of economic growth as the primary engine of economic recovery. But sheesh. That old sawhorse about the alienation that people feel from the leadership in Washington has always struck me as a dull non-starter, like saying that anonymous commenters on the Internet are genuinely angry about all the gay retards, but somehow this time around feels different. This is one of the most alienating political circuses I’ve ever seen. It’s confusing, it’s “scary,” and everyone seems to be acting like a real fucking asshole about it. ANYWAY, I think what really got me in the paper yesterday was an article about the on-going political uprising in Syria because the opening paragraph of the article described new developments in the “four-month old popular uprising against the regime of President Bashar al-Assad,” and I just was thinking, like, you know, FUCK, this country full of human beings engulfed in four straight months of unrest and violent disorder and I am sure that I could count the number of times that I’ve thought about Syria in the past four months on one hand. Maybe it is just that I am a bad person. That’s entirely possible. But it could also be that the world is vast and overwhelming and completely absorbed in an infinite number of dangerous problems. At a certain point you start to think about it and you’re just like, CAN’T EVERYONE PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO OF A BABY CHIMPANZEE FEEDING A TIGER CUB AND RELAX?
See what I mean? PROBLEMS SOLVED. (Via TheDailyWhat.)