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This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

We’ve already talked about two of this week’s biggest trailers: Battleship and New Year’s Eve. Wait, did I say biggest? I meant most awful looking. Easy mistake to make as they both sound so similar! But there were plenty of other trailers this week for us still to talk about! There is the one where Orlando Bloom plays a southern cop for some reason. And also a trailer with all the comedians in the world LARPing. Oh, also Margin Call! That looks good. And, of course, we are still feeling the after-shocks of Ryan Gosling Week with another Ryan Gosling trailer for his politics movie with George Clooney. Let’s look, why not:

Main Street

I wouldn’t care about this movie even if all the actors WEREN’T British, but here’s a question: why are all the actors British? That seems completely unnecessary. Bloody hell. Hahahha. Get it? England!

Margin Call

This looks good. Let’s see this. The end. CASE CLOSED.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy

Ugh. Is it just me, or has Jason Sudeikis made some really odd choices about non-SNL side projects? More importantly: why does this trailer make what is obviously a dumb comedy seem so complicated? Like what are all those title cards? And all those 80s hair metal wigs? Like, OK, we get it: they love to party and their losing their party house so they throw one more party. Got it. “What if friends for a lifetime only had one last chance to make it all go out with a BANG!” What?

Knights of Badassdom

This is a very talented cast, and I’m sure there’s plenty of joke juice to squeeze out of renaissance festival/LARP scenarios, although that one might be tapped out pretty soon. We will see! I am giving this one two thumbs sideways because it really go either way. Winter may or may not be coming.

Haywire

So much of this seems like it would push my buttons. Stephen Soderbergh directing a female Jason Bourne spy thriller with ultimate fighting? Yes, please! But this actually looks kind of terrible. I think the problem is that casting non-actors is really only interesting when you’re doing something very small and human where you’re really trying to dig into the nitty gritty of LIFE. When you cast a non-actor in an action movie it just looks like a shitty action movie.

Ides of March

“You had me at Ryan Gosling and George Clooney.” – Jenny McGruber.

Looks good! Will see. Next trailer, please.

Tower Heist

No comment. Next trailer, please.

The Hunter (Teaser)

Whoa. I have not heard of this movie until just now but it looks very good! Animal Kingdom was very very good, what a good movie. And for the most part, Willem Defoe is a very good actor! Also: Sam Neill reprising his role from Jurassic Park and also beautiful landscapes and a vague Werner Herzog feel to the whole thing? You got it!

Red State

If Kevin Smith can do for horror what he has done for comedy, this movie is going to be completely unbearable. I pray (get it?) that Kevin Smith has not done for horror what he has done for comedy.

Red Tails

This trailer just came out today. NEW TRAILER ALERT. It looks very epic and full of courage and hope. I’m sure it’s going to make white people feel really good about all the brave white people who helped the brave black people be courage. Honestly, this movie looks perfectly reasonable from here, but it was produced by George Lucas, so, you know, we should all stay on High High Binks Alert.