That’s Your Boyfriend: Riff Raff

“After years of being in and out of relationships, I realized that maybe my mate detector was mis-calibrated. Obviously, people like what they like and the heart wants what it wants, or whatever, but after a certain number of dramatic failures, you have to start to wonder if you don’t play some kind of role in these disasters. What I’m trying to say is, I opened my heart and my mind up to the possibility that the best person for me in terms of love and dating and romance and marriage (fingers crossed) was with someone completely unexpected. Maybe I didn’t even have a CLUE of what was best for me? And wouldn’t you know it, that is when I met Riff Raff. If you’d told me a year ago that I was going to fall in love with a clownball goon wearing expensive ironic jewelry and making haul videos about pork chop seasoning who used to be on From G’s to Gents and is now signed to Soulja Boy’s record label, I would have told you that you were out of your mind. But look who’s out of their minds now! Me, out of my mind with love for my man. And Riff Raff, out of his mind with something more clinical. Oh cupid, let your arrow sing!”

- You

Follow your boyfriend on Twitter!